Saturday, January 22, 2011

Extreme Poverty & Perfekt Povertye

Hey Blog,

Incidentally, Father McCambridge was in the Navy, not the Marines.

Can't find my copye of "Piers Ploughman," so, I'm not sure if that's how it was spelled, but, that's where I got it from.

Anway, 38 years ago today, the United States decreed that women in this country have the choice and the right to kill their children as they wish.

Tulsa had a March for Life demonstration and speakers afterwards.

FSSP-Tulsa was there to represent at the march, at least in part.

Both priests were there and select parishoners.


Father Van der Putten was carrying the Vatican flag and Father McCambridge was carrying the American flag.

After the march, during the...I don't know, either a speaker or an introduction to the first speaker, I turned and looked towards Father Van der Putten (I was to his left, yards away, trying to get a better view...or any view of the person speaking), and he was looking up. It appeared that he was looking atop the flag he was carrying, to the top of the pole on which it was, where there was a cross. :) It was gold. He was just looking at it (or so it seemed to me), not smiling, maybe frowning, just...maybe...contemplating it or praying....or maybe his mind was blank...IF he was actually even looking at the cross, I don't know, but, it got me to look up at the cross and be...joyful.

I have so much respect for Father Van der Putten and admire him so much and didn't want to approach him for a while because I believe him to be such a very holy priest and I think I know why he and Father McCambridge make me so very happy:

THEY LOVE GOD AND THEY WANT ME TO GET INTO HEAVEN.

In that order.

...And not just me, these men really do make it their entire existence to prepare people for God.

They prepare themselves for God. They love God, one can tell it in the way they offer the sacrifice of the Mass, the way they dress, the way they speak at their homilies, the way they make themselves avalible to their parishoners, they live for God and they die to themselves for God. They offer the Old Mass in this new age. They do this out of love and respect for God and His Church.

Let me stress...and His Church.


These men do not have to be FSSP priests. They can offer Latin Masses and be outside of the Church or offer the Mass in the OF as a parish priest.

But, they aren't. They are obeying the Pope fully and being reverent to God.

The whole thing about this epiphany I had on 1/22/11 was because of a conversation that happened on Thursday.

Father McCambridge needs to read up on some...sources to see if a particular interest I have is worthy of my time.

This interest I have is one that is shared and was brought to my attention by some friends.

I told one friend who (had been telling me how I'd enjoy this particular interest before I picked it up) about a conversation Father McCambridge & I had and how he's...uneasy about this regarding my spiritual good. I told him I have a book that brings religion into it and he asked me, "Does it have an Impramatur?"

She proceeded to tell me she thinks he's....nuts or something to that effect; she simultaneously scoffed at the idea and insulted God's priest (Lord have mercy) and that this isn't the 1950's, there isn't a list of banned books. There's social justice issues in Tulsa, my particular interest shouldn't be such a big deal.


The "social justice" thing made me cringe. "Social Justice" is a code phrase by liberal Catholics that inclines the need for various secular causes above the mission of the Church.

And that's why I love my priests, because they do not buy into that. :) Father made time for me because I wanted to talk to him. He is concerned about my soul and gives me what I need to make it into Heaven. I have the free will to accept or reject his councel.

(1/30/10): Let me again repeat: Father made time for MEEEEEEeee. He was concerned enough that I was kinda troubled about this to want to help me through it a bit (though, I wanted to share some things with him, to let him know). It's not that he wants to do something for some vague humanist idea for a group of people, he wants to help the individual person.

BUT, this isn't about Father McCambridge, no. Believe it or not, this blog is dedicated to Father Van der Putten. I am not as comfortable around him as I am Father McCambridge. Even tonight, calling them to try to figure something out, I'm pretty sure I was ranty and hysterical trying to convey something to FVdP, but, as soon as FMC came on the phone, the thing I was having trouble with was easier to explain to him.

I think Father Van der Putten is holier, but, I think Father McCambridge makes me holier. God has granted Father Van der Putten with charisma, but, Father McCambridge, I believe, has been graced with humility. I love them both. I, though I fight against it, trust them both.

I remember being at a breakfast one morning (for some reason, I actually stayed after Mass to go next door to the breakfast. I don't know what I was thinking), and though Father Byrne (I think) was the pastor, because of counsel Father Van der Putten (who was the assistant) gave me in the confessional, I asked if I could speak to him when I was done. He said yes. (I think it's just because I had spoken with him more I wanted his advice.) When I was done I went up to him and we walked out to the parking lot. I explained my situation, about working for less than minimum wage and serving and poverty. He told me that it would be okay for me to get a new job, if not told me to get a new job. "Humiliations will come," 'you don't have to look for them'. (I know he said that first part, I think he said the second. Or something like it.) And he was right! :) Now, I try, with the job I have, to make the most of my little crosses. :)

For a while, I will admit, to being angry/disturbed/distressed/defilent to Father because of something he said during a homily. Feast Day of St. Maria Goretti, 2009, even though there was more to it, he mentioned women in pants was immodest. Let me repeat: women should only be in skirts or dresses.

>_<

Oh, I was a'fumin'!

He was probably going on about femininity or something and relating to how his dad worked in a coal mine and how no men swore until the woman who was hired swore and how that opened up a Pandora's Box and how it doesn't matter that women can do what men can do. Also, women shouldn't even wear pants in their own homes in front of their husbands or children (probably not alone, either). Women should be feminine and although mini-skirts are immodest, they are still designed to attract men. He made the following statement: Mini-skirts are to fornication what pants are to sodomy.

:O
>:(

I came home, went on Catholic Answers Forums, posted what he said, and made war with anybody who disagreed with me (I MEAN HOW VERY....GAH!!!), not that that was my intent. I didn't know if anybody WOULD disagree with me, and some people said I need a new priest. And, now, viewing that thread again recently, I am very sad to see all this and I hope those people have learned better, too.

The next week I asked him in the confessional if women wearing pants was immoral and again, he said yes, and explained some things. I didn't agree with him but I said alright.

The following week or two, I mentioned this, again, in the confessional, to the pastor. I told him I've researched it and that's not what the church teaches. (There's signs in the Vatican saying women can wear pants.) He said he'd talk to him (I had to tell him this again after he absolved me. He also told me to ignore that one thing Father said, but, not to look down on him, or something).

Father Van der Putten mentioned this from the pulpit two more times, I think (keep in mind, I was still wearing pants to Mass). GRRRRRRRRRR on my insides each time.

I was upset, distraught about it not only for the how DARE he tell me what to wear, but, I didn't have the funds at the time. Oh sure, I had a dress or two, but, I didn't want to wear them.

Funny thing, I got a job. I think at some point, mabye before or after I got a job, I said to myself if I get a job, I will get dresses/skirts (www.holyclothing.com <-- site I learned about when I first ranted against FVdP). I had a job for one and one-half months. The heat got to me one day, I was wearing black pants, and I decided then I would buy dresses/skirts.

Self-preservation got me to do God's Will.

It took less than one year since I heard the homily to do this.

I've since asked FVdP in the confessional about pants. He did say that women could wear them, but, there needs to be a good reason, like gardening or something. ....Not that I think I would go back to pants much. I have worn pajama bottoms, though....

Anyway, I think I need to conceed that even if God doesn't demand all women in skirts/dresses, He wants ME in them. He wouldn't have given FSSP-Tulsa FVdP if this wasn't the case....and the thing is, there is another Latin Mass Celebrated in Muscogee, which happens not only later, but, it's closer, but, I didn't like the layout of the church, nor how I couldn't half-kneel/half-sit due to the seating arrangements, so, I started getting up earlier to go to St. Augustine's.

Also, it's the only other parish I have actually belonged to besides St. Elizabeth Seaton in Orland. For all the church hopping/shopping I did, I never actually joined any....well, wait...maybe St. John Cantius, I get mail from them.

It's so very odd. It's like God loves me enough to want me to be here or something.

Anyway, continuing on with FVdP.

For two years, I think, but, I cannot be 100% positive, two years, though, I think on a Sunday in 2009 and Ash Wednesday 2010 (?), I went to confession, FVdP was listening, and each time he asked something like, "Have you decided what you're giving up for Lent"?

...Gahhhh...what?

I mean, I had...half, maybe thought about it. Had a vague idea...ish. Father Van der Putten cared enough, CARED ENOUGH, to ask, and then....AND THEN....talk me through a workable idea...at least that first year...I don't remember if I had something better the second year.

HE ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT ME DOING RIGHT BY GOD'S CHURCH!!!

Seriously, if anybody ever reads this, I want you to think about that. This man, this holy man, this priest, my spiritual father took the time to make sure that I was going to die to self for the season.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

It was also through him that I learned about Ember Days. He made an announcement from the pulpit. I think it was Summer or Fall 2010. Yes, I know, I've been at that church since 2009, (but not frequently) and St. John Cantius, and this was the first time I heard about Ember Days.

Another thing asked of me from the confessional: Are you saying your morning prayers?

He cares about my relationship with God. He cares enough to make sure I HAVE a relationship with God. He cares that I talk and go to God often, and meditate on Him, and have recourse from the devil.

He's asked me this question a few times, I think.

Once, the following conversation (or spirit of it) transpired:

Me: I cross myself

FVdP: *scoffing and sardonic* That's a prayer?!

Me: *high pitched and defensive, and sounding like a three year old* It's a prayer! (It's hard to capture in text).

FVdP: *scoffing and sardonic* So, what is that? You give God 2 seconds?

Me: Three to five.

FVdP: And your night prayers?

Me: I give a little more during my night prayers.

FVdP: What? Five seconds?

Me: Ten to twelve.

He then put me on a regiment of prayers. I don't know how long I kept it up, but, I've since abandoned practically all. I do my Morning Offering (but, that's more now because of FMC), and, if I remember, say three Hail Mary's in the morning for purity and three at night for final perseverance.

Also asked of me in the confessional (are you noticing a patern?), at least, I think this is what caused the reply: Are you saying your daily Rosary?

--Father, I don't really have a devotion to it/I don't really like the Rosary.

FVdP: It's not about you.

My soul: :D :D :D :D :D

That really is the best thing I could ever hear besides the words of absolution and what the priest says when distributing the Eucharist.

I have never forgotten that and I hope I never will.

Also asked in the confessional was about work or shopping on a Sunday. (Not good...generally). I also asked, 'What about if one goes to the Vigil Mass on a Saturday, does one not shop or do work that day?'

FVdP: The Vigil is an abomination! (again, hard to transcribe. He didn't yell it, but, he raised his voice and the pitch of his voice. I think he said that the Bishop has said as such...)

Another time, I asked if I was profaning the Lord's Day by watching Brit-coms with double-entendre's and such.

FVdP (mumbling, if I recall correctly): You shouldn't be watching those, anyway....

And, during the interruption of the Mass, the announcements and the homily, FVdP has said the following:

About the children learning their catechism, which, they need to do at an accelerated rate: You will learn the prayers or *ominously and deeply into the microphone* You. Will. Pay.

:D :D :D :D :D

ALSO, there is a poem he repeats ad nauseum.

Mr. Business went to Mass/He did it every Sunday./Mr. Business went to hell/For what he did on Monday.

He wants his flock to understand coming to Mass once a week doesn't cut it. We need to live it. We need to be Catholic 24/7.

Also, I love how, when I taught 2nd/3rd graders their CCD, I was told not to mention hell and yet, Father is not only mentioning it, but, it's in verse form, so all can remember. There are newborns and there are senior citizens at Mass; Father is being charitable to all by mentioning hell and reminding us there is a hell.

Last thing, the beginning of the Mass procession earlier this month. I was in line for confession....I suppose one realizes that's a reoccuring theme....anyway, I was in line for confession and debating whether I should mention one thing or not before the bell was rung, and I remember watching it, because I was in the back and had a clear view; the cesure youth kinda half rolled his eyes and his face showed that wherever he was, he wasn't at the Mass at that time.

The next....6....youths, I want to say, processed with their candles.

There were four young boys and Father. Father was in the back, behind the young boys.

He saw that the young boys were going to proceed to follow the youths too closely.

Father flew, he swooped in, and placed the talons of death on the boys' shoulders, looking down (I wouldn't have guessed his eyes open if I didn't know better), until it was the right time for them to proceed.

Father respects the Mass, Father loves God, Father wanted things PERFECT, because God deserves no less.

I thank God for a priest to remind me of that.

Incidentally, when I saw this, I kinda had this interior thing about if Father will not hold anything back from the Mass and give 100% to it, as It deserves it, I have the courage to confess all (or at least inquire) during the sacrement I was going to receive.

Father really is quite inspirational.

Thank you, God, for your priests.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

God's Few, God's Humble, God's Priests

He must increase, I must decrease.

Hey Blog,

I've been meaning to get in touch with you for a while. Remind me to share with you my epiphany about Christmas and Sex. No, seriously, you'll like it.

But, that's not why I'm here tonight, Blog. I'm here because of...well, I should probably write about God's graces as well, but, my intent was to write on a priest and his actions.

It's good. One never hears anything good about priests, EVER, but, oh my gosh, I can't believe this happened.

Alright, I think I'm going to save God's graces for another day (interestingly enough, the three occurances happened this same day....AND, because of this same priest).

Of course, as with all my writtings, a little (more) exposition: Feast of the Circumcision of Our Lord, 2011, Fr. Van Der Putten, in his homily, urged all to make the New Year's Resolution to assist at one more Mass per week than one is obligated. He said they offer Masses at 7:00 and 8:00, and surely, people can make time before work to come to one of those Masses, and if not, he will gladly offer a 0600 Mass.

Knowing I live 2 hours away, and work an hour fifteen, one and one-half hours away, I knew that was impossible. ...

However...

There is a Friday evening Mass offered at 1900. If I leave work on time, I could get there, probably by 1800, but, this has never happened. I have gone before, though.

BUT, surely, this urging of the priest, excludes me....I mean, I live two hours away! That's, like, another, like, $80-$90 gas/month. I can do an extra Mass once a month (which, he also mentioned in his homily is not enough), but once a week is just too much.

I was almost on the verge of tears because of this. I KNOW, it is not binding, per say; the priest cannot MAKE us do this in any way....but, it's not for nothing he's saying to do this. BUT, I mean, c'mon, SURELY, ~I~ am the exception, ~I~ get a dispensation from this.

And after wrestling with my conscience:

Conscience: You have somewhere better to be?
Me: .......
Conscience: You have something better to do?
Me: .......
Conscience: You going to put something above Jesus, really? When He's CLEARLY allowing an option for you?
Me: >_<
Conscience: You think God wont provide with the money? Of all the things you're going to skimp on, Mass? There's NO where else one can allow for exceptions in one's budget?
Me: ARGGHHH! (sound of my will breaking)
Conscience: :) :D :)

So I was at Mass on Friday (we'll see how long this lasts. I also made NYR to 1. Pray the Rosary everyday, 2. Pray to the Sacred Heart everyday, 3. Pray to St. John the Baptist everyday), and afterwards, while I was still kneeling in prayer, I spoke with Fr. McCambridge walking out the door, who allowed me to stay to pray some more and he could talk to other parishoners. He knew I needed to speak with him (I think I called him and he hadn't responded) and I told him so. He knew.

1. He offered to wait for me.
After a while, I finished and I went out to see him where he was talking with two other men. Kind of on cue, they left.

He and I went inside the small area between the doors that lead outside and the doors that lead to the church part of the church.

2. He made himself avalible to me.

We spoke (more on this later...possibly).

3. He even offered to go WAY out of his way for me.

Anyway, when he was done counseling me, he offered to give me a blessing. ( :D :D :D ) After he gave me a blessing, he asked me where I'm parked and said that it's not the safest neighbourhood so, he offered to walk me to my car. (I half thought this was unnecessary because, well, like, I'm invincible.... I don't know, it's like, nothing has happened before, it's like God is watching out for us who go to Mass there....I don't know...I've never had a problem before...even in the dark (of course, there were other people still there those times.))

I said it's funny he says that because whenever I mention Mass, people always ask me the one 5 minutes away (because I am so blessed to live 5 minutes away from a Catholic Church ( :D )), or the one in Tulsa, because they all know it's the "bad" part of Tulsa. "But, so far so good," or something like that.

He gave me a queer look and said, "Well let's keep it that way."

He opened the doors to the church part of the church, probably knelt in front of the tabernacle, turned off the lights, and knelt again in front of the tabernacle. I was against the door, holding it open all this time.

We step outside, he gets his keys and fumbles with them, checking them in the light to see which key is the one needed to lock the door. As he locks the door, I start walking towards my car. He quickly catches up and walks on my left side, the side between me and the street (though, there is grass and a gate that seperates the small parking lot and the street). I thought that was rather chivalrous and gallant, for lack of better terms.

We make small talk about the weather and such and I get to my car (I notice the car he drove has a pro-life bumper sticker and "Neutrons have Mass?! I didn't even know they were Catholic!" I love puns, but, that is lame.).

I tell him my house is half decorated like Hogwarts from the Harry Potter universe but I tried to keep it not tacky and he laughs. :)

4. He waits for me to get in my car.

5. I then notice, he's behind my car, near his car, watching me, waiting to see if my car will start, I guess.

I then leave, thanking God for him almost the entire way home.

Him walking me to my car is something I cannot get over. This happened on 1/7/11 and here it is, the Commemoration of the Baptism of Our Lord, 1/13/11, and it still touches me. I think it inspired me to be a better and more selfless Catholic this week. Like I said, I thought it was odd yet chivalrous and gallant at first, but, then I thought about it more and more (how could one not?!) and this is what occured to me (the next day, I think): This priest did the most in persona Christi thing that anybody has ever done for me (to my knowledge), firstly, and secondly, he was very in persona Christi in general.

Did he walk me to my car just to be nice, NO! he walked me to my car, without regard to his safety, nay, he walked to my car with total abandonment for his safety. He could have walked on my other side, his car was on the other side of mine (across from mine, on the other side of the small parking lot), but, he walked on my left side. If something was going to happen to me, he wasn't going to permit it. He was going to be in the way of anything; if something was to befall me, it would target him first. He was RIGHTBY my side, blocking me (as much as a very tall, very lean man could). Whatever may have happened to me that night (I'm still holding I would have been fine....but, I'm not going to say no to a priest who wants to walk me to my car), Father McCambridge was going to ...sacrifice... himself so that I would be okay.

I mean, yes, it's grand that he has given me absolution and the Eucharist, more so than I know, but, this was ...practical. This was...real. This was tangible. This is, like, really, the message of the Gospel. This is the graces that absolution and the Eucharist bestow so that one can die to self and live for Christ.

THEN, it occurs to me days later, NOT ONLY did he act in persona Christi, he was very much acting as my Father. He was going to protect his child at all costs. He was going to make sure she wasn't left stranded, either. I mean, if I was going to die that night, THEN would have been the perfect time, I had received the Eucharist AND gotten a blessing from a priest. My soul was good to go, but, no, Father McCambridge was going to protect and defend my body that night.


I think he may have even followed me part of the way home (I'm pretty sure I noticed his car going up one off-ramp while mine went down another), but, that may have been coincidence.

He went way out of his way for me. WAY out. Not only physically, but, the things he offered to do for me, should the need arise. No regard for himself (or, at least, that's how it seems to me).

And the thing is, it wasn't personal; he would do the same for any of his children or any of God's children.

Father McCambridge was in the Marines. I don't know if he was a Marine or a chaplin for them, but, it wouldn't surprise me if he was trained to fight for his country, just because he is so fit and orderly and seemingly disciplined.

He defended one of this Country's daughters, and, for that, by this post, I salute him.

Thank you, Father McCambridge. You are in my prayers.

Thank you, Holy Trinity, one God, for creating this man,
Thank you Holy Trinity, one God, for calling him to the priesthood,
Thank you Holy Trinity, one God, for sending him to Tulsa,
Thank you Jesus for giving him Your Sacred Heart.
Thank you Jesus for giving him Your Sacred Heart to give to others.
Amen.