Tuesday, August 11, 2009

How badly do I need a job? The votes are in...

Seeing as I am currently unemployed and have most of an entire house at my disposal, I had already figured that now (or, "then") would be as good time as any to start with the cleaning.

As much as I wish I was done at any time after any "project" I set out to accomplish, because there is a house of stuff, STUFF THAT I WANTED MY MOM TO SORT THROUGH BEFORE SHE LEFT IN WINTER AND AGAIN WHILE SHE WAS HERE THIS SUMMER might I add, and ~my~ stuff to sort into this place, I have found this an ongoing project.

I need money. I'm not just saying that to be coy, I NEED money at this point and I need to find something that I want to do so that I can stick with it, and, I have been looking, but, not too tough. I have been looking and applying, but, not calling and confirming....and, nobody has called me.

I cannot say, at this point, though, I acknowledge a need to start being more self-sufficient, I am upset with this arrangement. It has given me time to unpack. I moved down here in January. I didn't unpack all my clothes until July. I'm still not, "fully unpacked." as there's another box full of stuff that I need to decide what to do with and then I'll probably need to rearrange some things in the house IF I want to keep them in this house before I could meld my things with them.

I bring this up because some point between the winter and the spring, I rearranged part of the kitchen. These changes made the kitchen less cluttered and more efficient because, when one keeps shoving things in cabinets and drawers, 1) One loses track of what one has, 2) One is not able to find what one needs conveniently, 3) Others may not be able to find what others need conveniently and, 4) Time and elements affect said items and they may not be fit for consumption or use of any kind anymore. This is why I wanted my mom to go through things, but, noooooo...... *Decides to leave the digressive dissertation about all the stuff I have found whilst cleaning, including, but not limited to Christmas items, out* So, when she was here in summer, and the house needed to lose a cabinet so that the water filter could be installed, she told me not to touch anything on the counter because she needed to fit those items in the cabinets underneath. No problem.

The best part of that was when she asked, "Did you know this house had a waffle iron?"
Me: No. Did you?
Mom: No.

See what fun it is to clean in an old house everyday?

So, I decided, since, while she was down here, the house got a dishwasher and she didn't rearrange more than she had to, wouldn't it be fun (yes, I am sad) to go through the cabinets and wash everything and see what all we have and put them back in a proper order....or, order? I can put all the plastics together and all the measuring cups (6, if one doesn't count the one on the ring) together, and all the great big pasta pots (8, but, who's counting) together. I could put all the spices and oils in one cabinet and all the paper/wax/foil products in another so some wont be in one and some wont be in another.

I don't know when the last time I had such a good time was.

Amongst my cleaning I found two dead flies, three dead brown spiders, a long (insect) leg, longer than the scorpion I found and, one dead scorpion. It is little, but, well preserved. It now sits atop the mantle over the fire place in a snack baggie that was lying around within a bottle/jar I found. I find that there is so much this house has to offer within itself! It's like Hogwarts, truly, because whenever I open another door, there's a surprise waiting! [Case in point, this is an edit: I have begun (and, am almost through for all I know) cleaning out three hardware drawers in the kitchen. My mom didn't want me to, but, after being not able to find measuring tape (we have 5 in the kitchen alone, 4 of which are not broken), it's happening. I don't want hardware stuff in the kitchen, but, I guess if it must stay.... In the second drawer, I found half a tube of Colgate toothpaste. I think it's Colgate Total, so, it's in the last 4 years, if not much sooner, I'm guessing. I also found a toothbrush holder and a toothbrush in the first drawer. Not the same brand of toothbrush and holder, mind you...]

Well, that only got me so far. There were three cabinets that my mom didn't want me to go through, but, after being sick of not knowing what stuff this house still held, finding out that there were part of different collections everywhere, SOME OF THE STUFF DIDN'T EVEN BELONG IN A KITCHEN, and it would help with space issues, I decided: but I must.

And so I did. I was surprised to find that there was a 28 compartment, 1 week - 4 times a day pill dispenser in the kitchen cabinet. I was appalled, appalled I tell you, to find there were still pills in it. WHY didn't my mom dispose of them as soon as whoever they belonged to died? I mention that because it was buried, as was four, COUNT THEM, FOUR, lemon juice bottles (alright, at least two, a lime juice bottle, and a bottle that is plastic but has the look of a wicker jug that I'm not sure of) shaped like lemons and such. Actually, they weren't buried so much as stuffed behind a Lazy Susan with half of a collection on and surrounding it.

I think I found the lemons first because I called up my friend to complain to her about it.

This was sometime last week. Late last week, if I recall. I just got around to washing them today. Not through the dishwasher but, dish soap and water and then put them in the dish rack to dry.

Once they were dry, along with a tall bottle that was in the kitchen cabinet but originally contained bubble bath and another bottle if sorts that I had originally thought of pairing with another bottle in a cabinet SOMEWHERE before I took another look and saw that that other green bottle was actually a vase, I put them in a moving box that I had put in the next room earlier this day.

I was over at the dining room part of the kitchen (as opposed to the kitchen part of the kitchen) and, setting things up there and picking through a motley inventory of items in a plastic woven green strawberry container when I found another bottle. A teeny bottle. It had some dirt in it and so I decided to see if I could wash it out....I couldn't. The opening at the top is very small and doesn't add water well nor does it drain well. I couldn't really get anything down in the teeny bottle to scrub it out, and, while trying to remove dirt or mould or something from the inside, it occurred to me....

I checked to see if I had the right number of bottles as I gathered the lemon/lime juice containers (that I now noticed were from different parts of Italy...or, at least had different cities' names on them) up out of the box. I brought them into the library here and set them down, grabbed a book and got to checking my theory online.

I had the right amount of bottles. Technically, they, I do not believe, are different sizes, but, they are different shapes, which I can pretend mean different sizes. I had to find that riddle and then appropriately decide bottle placement, and I did.

The next thing to do (I was percolating at this point) was find the best place. I went to the linen closet at the end of the hall on the other side of the house and grabbed the shrink wrapped shelf that just happened to be in there, waiting for it's moment. I had wondered, many times in the past 6 weeks, every time I opened the linen closet door to have that shelf look me in the face, WHAT in the WORLD am I going to do with this (besides just letting it look unused in it's shrink wrap in the linen closet)?

I found it. High, above head level so that nobody will knock into it, in the Slytherin Hall, closest to the dining room part of the kitchen and the Great Hall (because one had to go past the Great hall to go to the basement and the dungeons....but, you already knew that). It will be a perfect fit. No door will swing open to hit it, and it's in it's own nook, almost, not taking up an entire wall or anything.

Ladies and Gentlemen and Follower of This Blog, might I present:


Underneath the shelf with the bottles will be the riddle as found in Sorcerer's Stone, done in the LilyUPN font, on a piece of paper, burnt/aged.

I shall post a picture of it when it's finalized.

.....And my mom didn't want me to go through the cabinets....

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Summing up prayer from "The Simpsons"

I know, I still have the Family Reunion to write about and I will, but, I couldn't think of a better place to put this where it wouldn't get lost or deleted. From the episode, "Four Great Women and a Manicure". As said by Reverend Lovejoy as the religious head of the English speaking about the Spanish Armada:

"Lord Jesus,

Although our country turned Protestant for the SOLE reason that our fat, mean king could dump his faithful wife, we know you're on our side. So please, destroy these horrible monsters who believe your Mother should be revered."


.....Incidentally, I still hate Krebs Public Elementary. August 13 is getting closer and closer.... What a horrible reminder.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Something that will ammount to Neutral News Anybody!!!

They're back. Right now.

They being, "Somebody". I had the house to myself for about 30 minutes.

One would think, what with 5 houseguests, all of the male Y-Chromosome type, thus, having their OWN bathroom while here, this would be a good thing.

It would be, if I was the one who decided it.

My mom came in my room at....morning....sometime, and asked where my keys were. I told her. She took my keys.

I wanted to sleep until 11 but, got up to go to the bathroom around 0950, tried to go back to sleep, got up again around....10...something. I was invited to go to the thrift store with my cousins. I have only been to 2 or 3 thrift stores in my life, none of them this one, so, I would like to have acompanied them.

I remember, my mom has my keys. I make my cousins aware of this and the one suggest I call my mom. I do. I ask my mom when she'll be back. She says about an hour. I tell her I'm going with my cousins. She says she'll be here in 10 minutes.

I later check my phone and see that she called and left me a message so I call her back. The cousin (son) was cleaning out the car for the past ten minutes. My mom says to give her 15 more minutes. I am not to leave the house unlocked (which I would have done in case we got back here), as a matter of fact, she told me to stay.

I was GROUNDED!!! I was grounded....in the house where I primarily reside (alone) in the summer, and I'm over the age of emancipation.

I told my cousins to go without me (and they managed to talk my mom into taking our 9 year old cousin, who we all just met with them so they could by him a toy).

My mom is the one who was that Somebody. She said, "I'm glad you stayed, but, you could have gone and locked the side door."

I am so glad I didn't curse her out (which took all my restraint, by the way. ALL my restraint) because she bought a new stove and a new refrigerator for the house (the door was left open a little bit all night, I was told). The plumbing is also getting fixed and this is costing a lot of money.

Ah, the reason the houseguests are down here is because there's a family reuinon later today. If I survive, I will blog.

It will be long.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Mom & Michael

Hey Everybody!

Mom has been here less than 5 hours and already I have TWO, count them, TWO, stories!! I believe these happened within the first hour of her being here.

First, as mentioned, she is not a fan of spiders. She checked her bathtub (where I thought there would be dead bodies) and she sees a live spider. She doesn't jump around or go up five octaves or anything, but, she allerts me to it and stares at it like it's Boo Didley from Super Mario Bros. 3, you know, so, like the antagonist in the Fortress of Desert Land, if one stares at it, it wont chase after you. I tell her don't touch it it's mine, don't touch it. When I leave, she is still staring at it.

I excuse myself to the kitchen to grab the needed instruments: a shot glass and a Glad Ware Soup & Salad lid.

I go back to my mom's bathroom and attempt to bring the little guy to safety via the clever means I have avaliable to me.

I start to get a little scared because he keeps evading me and the lid that's trying to chase him. I don't want him to get aggitated and bite me because I didn't know what kind of spider I was dealing with and the light wasn't on. I try a different tactic and put the shot glass down and at one point I think I smoosh him, but, fortunately, I didn't. It is so important to get the spider out of the bathtub because a spider who lands in a bathtub is certain to die. I don't know how they get in there, but, for some reason, though they can crawl on ceilings and fit into tight places, cannot crawl up the sides of a bathtub. It is very sad and very tragic.

I manage to get the spider out and most of its web on me. I was very upset (as I am sure so was he) because I destroyed his cubbord/refrigerator.

I notice that it has, I think, if I recall correctly, yellow and blue stripes on it. I saw in the bathtub that it had a slender body. I want to show my mom. My mom retreats into my room and tells me she doesn't want to see it, just get it outside.

She follows me down the hall, I'm still holding the Glad Ware lid atop which sits the perfectly docile spider encased in a shot glass that fits the center hole perfectly. My mom and I are talking and a few times she becomes increasingly panicky/short tempered and pleads that I put the spider outside already.

I demonstrated for her that the spider has two barriers: 1) Plastic and 2) Glass. The spider isn't penetrating either.

I show the spider outside and tip him out of the shot glass. I am pretty sure I appologized. I know I asked him to sneak back in when he could.

My mom gets upset at me because I turn the outside and inside light on. I have this silly little quirk about liking to sewhere I'm going.... I don't want to step into any of the prehistoric bugs they gots down here, which is why my mom wants me to turn off the lights, so we do not attract bugs in the house.

....Seems to me that if any of those nasty bugs get in the house, a spider would be good company....

Anyway, story two:

While cleaning out a server, a server where every drawer and cabinet is the motley drawer and motley cabinet, I come across a Rx bottle for my Papa Carmine from 1979.



My grandparents moved here in '76. It was a bottle from a Doctor in Blue Island, IL. I guess they were on vacation or something when my Papa needed the Rx.

Anyway, I told people about this: that it's such an old bottle, that nobody has gone through this place, that I'm going to save it to show mom so that she can see that this crap needs to be cleared out.

Everybody's overwhelming response: Thow it out. Throw it out, throw it out, throw it out. Why are you saving it? Throw it out.

Last night I show my mom this bottle. A-Ha!, I think, this will show her that we NEED to go through stuff here and get rid of this junk and update things et. al.

Her response...."I can use this bottle," and she pockets it.

RAWERERERJAELKRJEWLKJROARIJK;LEAJFMKAOEWKLJ.DKE;/FJOI4[Uedowj!!!!!!J Why didn't I just listen to everybody else?!!!!!!!!! WHY!!!!?

My mom claims she can put pins or dimes in it.

Mark this day, Follower & Lurkers! I predict, that in the future, I will see that empty bottle shoved in the back of the clothes drawers here as I clear them.

In other news, yesterday was Michael Jackson's funeral. I missed it seeing as how I didn't get to bed until 0900 when the adrenaline ran out and, even if I was up, I probably would have been watching Mugglenet.com's live coverage of the London premier of HP6.....if I wasn't frantically cleaning.

Anyway, I missed it, but, not to fear: Every. Single. Channel. was covering it and rebroadcasting it (at least them cable news ones were). I saw people dancing in tribute.

Michael and dancers were supposed to be dancing for the new tour about this time, but, there were instead, people dancing in honour of his life.

It's not what we were expecting but, we are seeing Michael Jackson's dancers in early July.

Life is perfect, Life is the best.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Not as lonely as 3 A.M.

It is around 5:30 in the morning, Harry Potter 6 opens next Wednesday, and I'm not in the least bit tired.Also, my mom is coming to visit me/attend to needed repairs.

She gave me an ultimatim a few days ago. I don't kill spiders. Spiders are our friends! I haven't had a problem yet, and though I see them crawling on my bedroom ceiling and walls and elsewhere in the house, I typically let them be. The only time I intervened was when they were in the kitchen. I transported them to the dining room.

Anyway, my mom knows my affection for spiders so she told me if she sees a spider, it's going outside (which, is, I know, a compromise). I am uncomfortable with it going outside because I don't know if the spider will be acclimated to the outdoors; at the very least, birds and snakes are outside.I began to argue with her and she told me, "Then I'm not going to come down there! I'm not living with spiders!" Yeah mom, great. Give me a scenario where I choose a side of this line in the sand you drew. Hard to say which side I'll come down on, the spiders I live with or....

My mom also told me I can't leave the house at midnight when she's here (I go shopping between 2300 & 0300). What's she going to do if I do, send me to my room?

I'm sure I'll C&P this all on my blog, so, if you read my blog, don't read the above.

Nope! Not tired in the least!

Monday, June 22, 2009

____ YOU, Krebs Elementary School!!!!

May you burn in the lice infested cesspool torrent that can be created just for you!!!!! May you never get public funding again and may the children you teach intimidate you to your core until you crumble.

Whoever decided to put on the outside sign, "First Day of School: August 13," needs to be drug out into the street and shot.

Honestly, we're just at the beginning of Summer (and I meant to write this when I first saw this two weeks ago), and again, we have this public reminder to suck all the Summer out of Summer.

You're not cool, you're not funny, go to hell Krebs Elementary.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Why We ALL Hate Dealing With Looking For Work.

This was originally an email sent to friends over a year ago.

On Thursday May 8, 2008, I was contacted by Camerin Strange, Office Services Recruiter, from The LaSalle Network. He said he saw my resume on CareerBuilder.com and wanted me to come in to interview for two phone position assignments they had availible. He went into a brief answer for each. I forgot what the first one was, but, I wasn't thrilled by it so I then asked him what the second one was , which was an Answering Service position they had for a client of thiers. The hours would be 3p to 11p at their client's location, Monday through Friday.

'AH' I thought. 'This is great!' I will be at an answering service, a job that I love and at which I am good, and my kind of hours, nonetheless. PLUS, no weekends; Camerin told me that for this position, there would be no weekends. I got to thinking about it and for a temp assignment, there wouldn't be, even though, should I have lasted to get hired on fully by that company, I probably would.

Let me interject now and say that I have interviewed at another answering service and am waiting for a call back from them. It has been one week since they said they would call me back one way or another and two weeks since I originally filled out an application. I say this for two reasons: 1) I have yet to give up home that they will call, and 2) The woman made it clear that, should I be hired, I would have to work one day every weekend. No problem.

I asked Camerin Strange, Office Services Recruiter for the LaSalle Network, which is a staffing agency, who told me about this temp-to-hire position, if anybody had ever been hired to working for this client from their temp status. I was assured that yest they have, that there would be room for growth in this company, and that there were benefits with this company (their client) as well. Camerine then sent me an e-mail confirming the interview and reminding me what he told me over the phone:

"3. Three Items to Bring to Your Interview

a. Two forms of government identification (driver's license, passport, SS card, etc.)
b. The names and phone numbers of two past supervisors that we can contact for a reference.
c. Clean, hard copy of your resume, in addition to the resume you will e-mail to our office assistant as requested above. Her e-mail again is: chicagoresumes@thelasallenetwork.com."

So, if we are all paying attention, they will have three resume's of mine in total by the time I got there, the one as seen on carrerbuilder.com, the one I e-mailed to them, and the hard copy I would bring.

Camerin also told me to look at the attachment included in the e-mail.

I couldn't see the attachment and although I e-mailed him my resume on Thursday, I waited until Sunday night to e-mail him about the attachment (because I wanted to make sure that there wasn't something I was mising as there was something that gave me the option to, "View," but, it didn't open) as well as I couldn't remember if he said the attire was business casual or business professional, and, even though they would have 3 copies of my resume, would they need me to fill out the application on their website (although I didn't say it, it would have been to save time).

Camerin called me at 9:29 Monday morning saying that the attire was buisness casual, that he would re-send the attachment, and that I didn't need to fill out the application online.

I got a reminder call at 4:53 that day from a young woman who works at the LaSalle Network saying I had an 11 a.m. interview the next morning and a few things to remember, 1) The dress is business professional, 2) Bring in two forms of identification, 3) Bring a hard copy of my resume, 4) Get there 1/2 hour early to fill out an application.

Some of you may be rolling your eyes at this point because I wanted to fill out the application online to save time and they clearly told me I didn't have to do that but now they wanted me to come in early to fill out the application. It is probalbly because the online application meant nothing overall and that they wanted a hard, hand written copy, of the application. The online application was possibly no more than an announcement to the LaSalle Network that one is looking for a job. There has not been a staffing agency to which I have been that didn't require one to fill out an application. Furthermore, even with looking for a job online, if I provide a copy of my resume in html or text form, they still want me to fill out the stupid application that the site provides. Some even specify, "Do not type [write], 'Please see resume.'"

Besides, if you start rolling your eyes now, you wont be able to read the rest of my adventure.

The LaSalle Network is in Chicago. 200 N. LaSalle St, Ste 2400, which is 7/10 of a mile away from the Metra Station. It's a straight walk down, don't even have to cross over to the other side of the street, so, it wasn't too bad of a walk, but, I'm not a fan of the 1 hour 20 minute train ride and was considering driving to the prospective job (if I interviewed well enough to get that job), desptite having to possibly pay to park, because even though I didn't know where the client's place of business was, I knew, from Camerin, that it was a little north of 200 N. LaSalle. IF I got that position/assignment, hours 1500 to 2300, and the next train on the Metra Rock Island District Line leaves at 11:05 pm, I would have to wait until the last train of the day, which leaves at 1230 in the morning, which, technically, is the first outbound train of the day. I would have had to possibly have walked past homeless people, but, all in all, it's not like it would require me to go through a shady area. I would have had to wait a while though. I'd get off the train at 1:29, should the train run on time and I'd be home at, on average, 1:50 in the morning.

I get to the building and after checking in with security and getting on the wrong elevator and going past security and explaining that I had agreed too hastily the first time about where I was going, he told me the right way to go.

I get up to Suite 2400 and, lo and behold, Camerin has done his job well!! There were so many people when I went to the desk to check in, after they greeted me, they gave me a stack of paperwork to fill out, and told me that they were sorry and that there were no pens left and did I have a pen? A staffing agency with no pens. They're on the ball, they are. To be honest, I was lucky I had a chair and a clipboard.

I filled the things out and handed them back. I was told that as soon as there was a free computer, they would test my skills.

I am pretty sure I checked on the one sheet that I knew MicrosoftWord, but, they did not test me on it, something I thought was odd, but yet thinking, 'Well, it's not like I'll have to do this for the answering service, I was grateful for because that rest would have taken more time. I was tested on General Office knowledge, one minute timed typing test, and a three minute timed typing test. I scored 41/47 on my General Office test (I wonder if it was the math or the spelling that I had the most trouble with, a 56 wmp on the one minute test with two mistakes, so the actual score was 54 wmp, and a 61 wpm on the three minute test with 0 mistakes, meaning, that for three minutes, on average, I typed over a word a second correctly. I was told before I began testing that they would throw the lower of my scores out and that I didn't need to print, they would worry about that.

I went back up to the desk and told them that I was done with the testing. I think the girl was trying to print out the tests, but, for some reason, it was giving her trouble. To make use of the time not printing (I couldn't see the computer, for all I know she could have been checking her e-mail), she asked me for my two forms of ID and had me fill out tax forms, with the, "Super happy fun pink pen!" It was a sparkly pink pen with black ink, but, at least they now had a pen, which was I think one of the messages she was trying to tell me. I filled out the tax forms at one of the desks (one of them was now free), where my IDs were returned to me.

I was impressed with filling out the tax forms because I though, 'Surely this means I'm going to get hired for the position. Maybe I wont even have to interview because they are so impressed with my resume that they are offering me the job right away.'

I completed those forms along with one of all their rules as an employee of theirs I had to initial and returned it back to the desk.

Shortly after that, my name was called (correctly, something which Camerin couldn't do either call and something I had to correct the one girl when I was first incorrectly addressed) by "Steve Mikrut, Director Call Center Staffing & Recruiting" as it says on his card.

I was told in the e-mails and the literature I got while I was at the LaSalle Network that I would be meeting with at least two, possibly three people who would interview me.

I followed Steve to an interview room, a room where the wall with the door and the wall perpendicular was painted blue and the other two walls were painted yellow. There was a round table in the room and two chairs.

I told him I was there because I was told about the answering service position from 3p to 11p which I was interested in and that I am looking for a carrer and not a job, and not just an assignment. He asked if I was interested in perm-to-hire positions and though I think I hesitated, I said that I was interested as long as they would result in me being hired outright by the company who was using my services, but, I was there for the answering service position.

Very quietly, and I empnhasize this because he had not been this soft spoken prior, he said, "Our client filled that position yesterday."

He then went on, "I don't want you to leave The LaSalle Network thinking that we brought you here under false pretenses..." I did not think they had, to tell the truth. I thought that, at best, there was a failure to communicate. However, assuming that they DID get me in there under false pretenses, they still don't want me to leave thinking they did.

Steve asked me what I knew about The LaSalle Network. I told him I knew it was a staffing agency, and asked him if there was more to it. He said that yes there was because even though they were a staffing agency, they were better than that, they were a higher class staffing agency. "I'm not going to compare us to ManPower. I cannot promise that we have a job out there for everybody." "That's all right," I said, "I've been through ManPower and they weren't able to find me any work, either. If you want to distance yourself from them, that's okay."

It turns out, that they are in the same boat as ManPower because neither was able to find me work.

I kept emphasizing that I was looking for a career at this point in my life, that I am ready to settle down, and I do not want assignments, but, I was told that (and he asked me if I spoke with Camerin) there was the answering service position and that that company has hired people from The LaSalle Network in the past as full time for them. I told him that I was particularly good at that type of work and any over the phone work that they may need, I can talk to people in person if they needed me for that type of work, but, I am good at over the phone. "But, what about customer service?" "Yes, I can do Customer Service positions."

I asked him if he was going to check out my references, as they would provide him with the truth (that I'm a good worker, that, except for two staffing agency assignments, which I left, the only reason that I hadn't had any long term work was because, even though I was told some of my assignments would be temp-to-hire, my assignment was always up by day 88 (if I was there for 90 days, the company would have to have brought me on to their payroll full time), and in one case (two, actually, but, I forgot the second), the one company called me back two more times, that I am punctual, that I am respectful, and that I was always at work when needed). He looked down, between my application on the table and his chest with a panicked, wide-eye look as if his mind was thinking, "How am I going to tell her I'm not going to check out her references?"

We were going over my resume and job history and I told him that I have been through three staffing agencies and I told him once or twice, "You know how it is, it is either feast or famine with staffing agencies; they either have a few assignments lined up or it's months of waiting inbetween." He nodded at this.

We got through talking a little bit more, "But have you ~EVER~ worked in customer service?" I told him yes. After high school and after college I worked at Catherines/Plus Sizes and Phillips 66, respectively. In addition to that, I also did over the phone customer service through a staffing agency.

He told me that the competition is fierce and that it's tough finding a job out in the world (he was saying all this after he didn't think I had the correct qualifications). Really? Hadn't noticed.

I think it was somewhere around this time he took objection to me calling him, 'sir,' incidentally, and wanted to be reffered to by his name, which is fine.

We got to discussing my application a little bit more and the gaps in my employment history, and this was when I told him about the assignments I left early, one being the one for a car dealership where I had to get people to come in to the dealership promising them they could leave with a car, even though their income was negative.

"That's what I don't get!" he said. "Why do you have this down on your resume if it's a job you didn't like?"

Perhaps he meant if it's a job I left, but, I told him, it is because it is one of my most recent jobs and if I put down something else, my resume would look that much shadier, making hiring people wonder, 'did she not work for these 16 months?' He should have known, by common sense in his field and because I kept hinting at it and explaining it to him, that I had some assignments that were only a day or so as well as these bigger week(s) to month(s) ones.

"But, WHY?" he asked me; why did so many of my assignments end prior to 90 days? I told him they just ended, but, if he checks out my references, especially the ones from the staffing agencies, where, hopefully, they have a complete record of my time with them, they could give him more detail.

AND, note, instead of him seeing that I was called, again and again, for different assignments, he asked why didn't I ever have a static assignment, when that's not what having an assignment is about.

He asked if I was looking for permanent work at this time (not now, but when I was working through assignment agencies). I confessed I was not. He asked why. I told him it was so I could be avalible for the next assignment and I wanted to get in experience. He said at this point that, "It seems to me, that experience comes with the longer you last at a job. They'll give you more responsibilities." "Yes, I understand that now, but, I didn't then. For example, my last job, for three of the five months I was there, I was training the new girls, and I say new girls because there was only one guy working there at that time."

So, even this point, that for over half the time I was there, I was a trainer for the job, and I'm reliable, and even though, I scored a 61 wpm with zero errors on the test, and I am polite and mindful, if not respectable to authority, apparently, because of my work history, I was told, "I won't be able to place you." He told me that his clients want to see people with work histories denoting that they have been at their jobs at least 6 to 8 months.

"When you say, 'I wont be able to place you, do you mean, 'I, Steve, will not be able to place you,' or, 'The LaSalle Network will not be able to place you'?"

Very quitely, he said, "The LaSalle Network will not be able to place you."

He asked if I had any other questions.

I asked him if he would have a talk with Camerin.

*pause*. Very quietly, "I will have a conversation with him."

I told him that if there was a recording of the conversation, to go back and listen to the recording, because I could have sworn that is the reason I was coming in to the interview today.

You know how when somebody tries to sell you something, they talk fast and they use buzz words to explain something? And if you try to ask them for clarification, they just repeat the same phrase using the buzz words? That is typically what happens when I go to an interview, especially at a staffing agency, but, that didn't happen this time. As a matter of fact, Steve was looking at me with a deer in the the headlights look on his face and in his eyes. He was quieter at times than others, and he seemed kind of, in general, nervous.

He seemed relieved when I was very understanding about not being able to be employed there. I'm not that fussed about it to tell you the truth. I mean, if they wanted people with 6 to 8 months at least of experience in any one solid job, just to assign them to something that would be temporary, and not that familiar with how staffing agencies work, then I clearly would not be the best fit for them.

During the walk of shame back to the train, a woman asked me for money for the train. She said she was not homeless but just got out of the pen. Even though I was just rejected for employment, I gave her money. And, if she was in the pen for a while and had a job while in there, who knows, if it was over 6 months long, perhaps she can go to The LaSalle Network and they could place her.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

For the love of all things Holy....

I was fired from the job I had for a month this morning. I will blog about that later. I say this to segue into the following. It is the epitome of all firing stories. A friend I have loves it so much that whenever I am let go she compares it to this story and some of the time when I mention religion she mentions this event.

The event is as such:

Once upon a time, Attia didn't have a job. Attia loves God and Attia saw in one of the bulletins of the church she went to that they needed Religious Education Teachers. It was volunteer, but, it was at least a reason to get out of the house.

I don't remember what grade it was, but, I called up to inquire about it, and was told that somebody had already taken that grade, but, there was another grade (I think 6 or 7-8), would I want that one? I said yes.

I was informed later, by the Director of Religious Education that somebody had just taken that one (after it was offered to me, meaning, I got it, but, then, because somebody else wanted it, it was given to them), how would I like 2nd Grade? BUT, not any second grade. THIS second grade was for the newly newly mostly non-practicing Catholic children. There was another second grade for the practicing Catholic children, but, the one I would be teaching would be continued through next year (when the children could receive the Eucharist).

These children were blank slates. I could teach them.

I hate curricula. I had to teach them from approved texts. These texts didn't have an Imprimatur or Nahil Obstat. ....Which is what one would expect from a church with a DRE.....

I was informed that addressing the children by "Mr." or "Miss" & their last name would be improper. I did this for the first class, anyway.

I was told not to do that and again, instructed not to sit at the desk, but, rather, sit at the table with them. This IS school, but, it's not.

At one point, I was asked a question about guardian angels and I didn't have the information memorized. I looked up the passages in the Bible (and I told this to a former Professor I had, and she was surprised that it was in the Bible at all....thought it was just something told to little kids...) and had each child (there were three) and myself read a passage about guardian angels and then I explained it a little bit more.

What was I told by the DRE? "Don't read from the Bible it will befuddle their little minds!"

Anyway, our lessons had to be approved by the DRE, so, I would submit my lesson plans to her. She would tweek them a bit to where they would fit in her approval.

I was called in one day to either come in on a Tuesday or Wednesday and submit my plans to her. I knew it wasn't the reason, I KNEW IT, but, still, I stayed at the library one Sunday to plan it all out.

And sure enough, she was letting me go. I don't remember everything she said, but, one of the prefaces was, "...I have given this a lot of prayer..."

I tell you, The Reader, this for one reason and one reason only.

My friend thinks it's hiLARious that this woman used the Holy Spirit as an excuse to fire me.

...I couldn't get over that I was let go from a VOLUNTEER position, myself....

Another thing, I was yelled at because we hadn't yet made our prayer cloth. Apparently, it's a craft project where the kids could paint or color this white cloth however they wanted and we would use it to open up in prayer each session.

......Forgive me if we had more pressing matters, like teaching them the basics of the Catholic faith....

Anyway, again, whenever I am let go or anything like this happens, my friend compares it to the excuse of I was let go FOR SOMETHING I WAS NOT BEING PAID FOR because of the Holy Spirit.

Of all the excuses, that one is still the most outrageous. Should anything top it, you all will know.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Because I had a lot for which to answer....

Have I mentioned I have a new job? I've had it for a month now (four weeks, since the first Thursday in May). I am an operator at the answering service down here. I got it because the Manager here called the Manager at the service I used to work at and she gave me an very high review including the remark she'd take me back in a second (she told me this).

I love this work, it's not something everybody can do or wants to do or is committed to doing. One has to deal with all sorts of people (our clients and their customers), some who are nice, some who are volitile, many different people with different accents, that we need to decipher via bad connections, without the use of body language or lip reading. One has to sit for long periods of time. Some of these calls have a high priority. A call that comes in on a line/account from a person saying they cannot breathe or their _______________ is on fire, needs to be called out right away......which is kind of hard to do here, especially if another call like that is on hold.

This service is different than the one where I was trained. Speed is essential here, not accuracy. One can play back one's own calls, though, as pointed out to others, if the call has static or a bad connection during the initial call, playback will not help, and it is necessary to ask the caller to repeat what s/he said. There can be four operators at most taking calls here. In IL, there could be up to 11 (typically, though, depending on the day shifts, there were between 4 and 9). Here, around 300 accounts; there between 400 - 500. Here, we see the calls holding via account and they go into a communal holding once saved. There, we saw the numbers holding, and each operator was responsible for fully finishing that call before he/she took the next one.

I wasn't getting the hang of things, really getting it, until this Monday. THAT is because I had been chewed out by a supervisor (to whom I apolgized because I was in the wrong), and had one on one time with her, her daughter, another worker, both overnight people, AND the trainer (all since being there). One of the overnight girls (the non-supervisor one) and the daughter of the other supervisor suggested, in my downtime, I go throught all the accounts and read how each client wants us to handle their calls, and if I have any questions, ask (this way I wont be caught off guard with a new call). Another girl gave me the advice to not use the mouse and to try to get these calls out in under a minute, and, do not say, "Yes, Miss," but rather, "Yes, Ma'am". The mother supervisor has stressed time and again and again (because I needed to be told repeatedly), try not to take calls that would require the person to call back to the office anyway. Offer to take the call, sure, but, these are calls that will be holding, and that is annoying.

I stayed for over 12 hours on Monday, the holiday (but, I only put in my 7 hour shift....which I got in the first place because another girl quit) to help the two senior operators (though, truth be told, I thought I'dve been more of a liability) because I offered because it would be them and a girl who had been there for under 2 weeks....who, I think, has already quit. That morning was hectic because we had old people calling in wanting to know if their nurses would visit them that day. By comparison, that afternoon/evening was easy.

The next day, Tuesday, I was totally getting it. Most everything clicked. It just all fell into place. I was doing so well, the Daughter of the One Supervisor showed me how to edit information in accounts and how to put in information on other accounts on which one needs to be trained.

....Also on Tuesday, we, the service, received a call....let me rephrase, I, ~I~ received a call. I had never seen this account before in my life, I'm not even sure if I had been told about it, but, it is a VERY high priority company. The first question we are to ask after we answer for the company is, "Is this a life threatening emergency?"

I didn't know that.

I answered the phone per the greeting the client wants us to use and was informed right away, "This is a test....." The guy on the other end wanted to know how we'd handle a call and what questions we were to ask and who was on call in a state primarily and secondarily. It goes against everything we are trained to do to give out first and last name on call information...but, I did it anyway. I answered all his questions. One of the last things he said to me was, "Very good." It seemed like a passing statement. I did put on the account that it was a test (we doccument every call that comes in....mostly....I should probably start doing that...).

Like I said before, we have a communal holding for the messages. If there's a message holding, it comes up on a pop-up when we type in the command to see it.

My boss saw that message.

He typed in the chat (as we have a type of IM thing within the software at this location), "How did we do?"

An operator who has been working here for three years (the trainer), replied, "I DON'T KNOW, ATTIA TOOK THE CALL."

He replied, and I cannot emphasize enough how much of a direct quote this is and I don't know if he did it because of his confidence in me as an operator for him (which, again, hasn't been glowing), or because I was unaware of what to do because I had never seen this account, "ah crap.....Attia?"

I found it ammusing myself.

I had to play back the message to see what the guy said, because, apparently, it was a real test. We are supposed to right away ask if it's a life threatening emergency as soon as we give the greeting. I didn't know this. We were told by Trainer that sometimes they will not say it's a test, they will have a scenario set up where it's a caller calling in, just to see how the call is handled. Daughter of the one Supervisor said something along the lines of she might have been conflicted because giving on call info, especially last names, goes against all our training. We do not know who is on the other side of the line, and I have been told, there were times, when last names were given, and the caller would then look up the person in the phonebook and call the listed number.

So.......hopefully, we did well.

Other than that, a girl who was there for a few weeks has already quit....and, I don't know what happened with that other girl mentioned earlier. The night supervisor has a vacation coming up in two weeks, and the other night girl is leaving to get married and move to GA at the beginning of July....which, the manager has yet to know.

I mentioned that I want to work the afternoon/overnight shift, but, I don't think I'm ready. Though I have shown remarkable improvement, I think it may still be a bit premature to think I can handle being alone at this place, should everything go wrong at once (there are radios connected to some of our accounts, there's weather radios, that if something wonky is happening, I'd have to page it out, there is one account that uses an automated voice to call in case something is down in the field, there are pagers that go off in case something is down in the field, not to mention the emergency calls we would get from people needing a fire put out, an on call nurse, something has gone down in the field, or the non-emergency disgruntled people who are upset that I cannot help them with something, when they were told and the number they called says, "24 Hour Customer Support".

...And speaking about that last account, no, no I do NOT have an accent. Just because I ask people what TOWN do they live in and they hear TIME does not mean it's on my end.....Clearly it's their hearing....

Thursday, May 7, 2009

New Jaerb

Hey all. I was informed that "real" bloggers blog everyday. With that in mind and with me anxious to do a bit of typing, here we go. It'll be short, but, for all of you interested, and I know there are plenty, here it is.

I quit my old job after two months, one week. The short story (and I hope to expand on this one day), is the boss, after I asked her what time does she want me to come in tomorrow (which was Saturday), she said that's what she wanted to talk to me about. I had been working the past three days there for three hours a day, and it still seemed like I was putting in a full day's work. She asked me if I wanted the job and I said no. She asked me if I was looking for other employment and I said yes. She told me she wanted me to take the weekend and pray about it (i.e., do not come in on Saturday). We talked some more. Towards the end of the conversation, she asked me if I was coming in on Saturday (uh, no...you just said...). She didn't ask me as a test, I don't think, but, because she really is that loopy.

I called her house up on Monday (the shop is closed that day but she does door-to-door missionary work), and left a message saying I tender my resignation (and a friend, a grown friend with children encouraged me to say that because she probably wouldn't know what, "tender," means in this context....have I mentioned the "2:47" remark?) and I will be in on Friday to collect my paycheck.

And I did. I went in on Friday and she said she wanted me to read something. She handed me an envelope with the contract I signed, the things I wrote for her that I said I could do for her to make her business grow, and a slip of paper that said, "Remember the contract you signed." Yes. I remember. It said that if I quit on Janell before the six months I said I'd work for her, she has the right to keep my last paycheck. I remember because I typed it that way (before it read like if one quit or if one was fired...but, not those words). I told her, while she was styling somebody's hair, "Yes, I remember, and I worked last Friday for three hours. That is my last paycheck." "Oh, I'm going to give it to you. I just wanted to make sure you remembered." Heh. Yeah, I remembered.

Incidentally, my last paycheck, 3 hours at $6. She can keep that under $20 (although, by rights, legally I should have it).

So, I wasn't looking for work, really, but, taking the time to further unpack my stuff into this house (which I had to move stuff and pack stuff and throw away stuff in) to make it more mine. The only thing I did (and there's a little bit more to this story as well) was go to the city's Police Dep't the Friday of the week I didn't work and picked up an application to be the Dispatch/Operator here in town. It was 24 pages.

I figured I'd work on it over the weekend. It was due the 29th.

On Tuesday Morning, 0500, I still hadn't finished, I figured I'd go to bed, get some rest, wake up, finish it, and hand it in comfortably that afternoon.

At 0800 I got a call from the answering service here in town. They wanted me to interview there. There's more to this story, but, after checking a reference, they hired me. I began Thursday at 2200.

I will work part time afternoons (and weekends) for Oklahoma Minimum Wage. It is more hours and more money (and taxes deducted) than I was making at Janell's.

It's more high stress than the other answering service where I worked, but, I am still getting a feel for it.

I hope to blog more later. ...Perhaps tomorrow.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

It was just so wrong

(Originally posted elsewhere in November, 2008.)

Part of me should re-evaluate and appreciate the new take on the old tale, from Lillith to Carmilla and every strigoi and succubus inbetween and since, one can only re-invent the wheel so many times, and, to be fair, I have not yet read the book, so, I don't know how much of this is the book's fault or the movie's fault, but, independant of the book, the movie had problems.

The movie stars Robert Pattinson. If his name sounds familiar, you spend way too much time on imdb.com. If his face looks familiar, it is because he was in the fourth Harry Potter movie. He played the dead 17 year old kid. In this movie, he plays the dead 17 year old kid. I mean, *spoiler alert*.

I have never wanted a vampire in a movie to die...any vampire...not once. Despite the Bela Legosi Dracula being so boring I couldn't wait for the movie to end, I never asked for a Barabbas trade-off. Despite rolling my eyes at every John Carpenter Vampire movie I have ever deigned to sit through, I have never rooted against the vampire. I still hate the scene where Madaline and Claudia are incinerated and if I ever see that movie again, I will avert my eyes as it is the most disturbing scene of any movie. This movie changed my record. I, at one point in the movie, was motioning, wishing I could stake the whole damned thing so that it wouldn't drag itself or anyone else down along with it.

And, I guess that is how I am approaching this movie and how this review is going to go, along the line of the vampire, not so much the movie, or the acting, or the casting, but mostly, the vampire, because the movie makes one ask, "What in the name of Barnabas Collins is going on and why do I care?" Hang on you little spider monkey's, we're going to movie quickly from tree topic to tree topic.

Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start, and, continuing with this, the movie starts with a deer, a female deer running. Did somebody conjure a patronus to keep this movie at bay? If only.

We soon learn of the lead female (who looks like a Designer Imposter's Generic Allysa Millano) that she is leaving her mom and her mom's husband in Senator McCain Land to live in the Blue State of Washington. I don't just mean politically, I mean, the film has a tint to it that, if it were a musical piece, would be in a minor key...with a minor chord...played slowly. Horror movies typically implore this same sort of technique to heighten the anticipation; it is typically night or dark or rainy....even when it's in sunlight. This movie had a flushed look about it. It was really a detraction from the movie. Where was I? Ah yes, Washington. Ummm...she meets a guy....an American Indian and his dad...? His dad is friends with her dad and the two India....Nativ...First Nati...Red Me....(the dad is in a wheel chair, btw), have restored a red van for her, which her dad bought for her. We learn that younger Native, goes to high school on a reservation.

The next scene we see is What's Her Face driving to her new school. She gets out of the car and leaves the windows rolled down. She is accosted by an Asian male, who, is apparently straight, despite his mannerisms and body language saying otherwise. He introduces her to other teens...or maybe they glam on to her...I don't know, but, at one point, she notices, or maybe they point out these other kids. These other kids are pale, keep to themselves, and have seemingly almost-incestuous relationships (for, you see, though they are not related, they apparantly, for all intents and purposes live as siblings...for all anybody knows).

I don't know if it is before lunch or after lunch that New Girl has biology. She is told to sit in the only empty seat...which, perhaps is next to the vampire to show the void in his life and all of his Existential life is meaningless and tragic in his vampric state, and she is assigned to sit there to metaphorically fill this void...naaaaahhhh.

She sits next to him and he involuntarily/reactionarily motions to retch. He covers his hand and his nose with his mouth. The friend who bought the tickets to this show whispered, 'oh! he's covering up his fangs. *squee*'....but, in this series, vampires do not have fangs. Yes, the one thing that associates/symbolizes best the vampire to modern western audiences, and they, like many other things pertinent to storytelling, are lacking in this movie. Let me digress a bit by saying, I'm not sure how soon sharp teeth evolved in the vampire myths, or when, but, for over 100 years, to a western mindset, the sharp teeth going into the soft yielding skin of the victim has been sexual in nature. ...I guess that I've just answered my own question seeing as how there is no sexuality in this movie and no masculine representation can be found therein. If a vampire wants human blood, I have read about this series, s/he just has to bite down...really hard...which makes sense because when Leading Girl gets bit, one could see an entire teeth imprint.

Creepy Stalking Peeping Kid avoids this girl...except when he appears in her room at night. He stays out of school a few days to gather himself....or something. But, one day, he comes back, and he keeps staring at the Girl while she is at her truck and he's at the Hummer of his "siblings" when all of a sudden, another student almost crashes into her, but, despite him not being anywhere near this girl, he protects her by using his Jame's Dean pouffant pompadoor to bounce off the van aiming for her.

Then she's at the hospital. She's being checked out by Uber Pale Face's "Dad". She was stating how Uber Pale Face saved her...miraculously. He wasn't there and then he was and the other vehicle was smashed. Doctor: Really? That doesn't suprise me in the least and instead of passing this off as remembering wrong or something, I'm just going to continue listening to you while being patronizing, okay?

Next Scene: Still at the hospital. Banged up Girl walks to hear Uber Pale Face ("Edward", I guess...) talk to his, "parents" who reprimand him how he could have messed up everything and that this can't be good for their "family".

Edward sees that Girl is listening and goes over to her and he does the natural thing that starts off all great relationships: he lies.

Then we don't see and hear him for some time. The only thing worse than this movie with Edward is this movie without him. He next appears and speaks during a field trip. Besides that, I think it is this part of the movie that has the best message for a movie promoting chastity: either dream about the one kid you can't get off your mind or, if you are that kid, go up to the room of the girl you find attractive and watch her sleep...in her underwear. That's sweet, and not in any way a sign that you're planning to shoot a President.

Right, so, there's a field trip, to a green house or something, and, then there's...plenty of all sorts of forgetable things.

Ummmm....at one point, Edward and New Girl Friend are in...his...vehicle? Anyway, they both reach for the radio dial at the same time, and she comments, in a very obviously cliche'd manner, how cold he is. Despite this, they later make out...and kiss...and hold hands....and touch generally. We don't hear how awkward or uncomfortable his nippy body is.

But, we know how uncomfortable it looks. We know this because this movie is 80% face. This movie gets MUCH too close on everybody's surly vissage. I know all the dermatological issues of every actor in this movie. Every. Single. One. There has not been so many close ups close up on faces looking since a 1975 episode of, "General Hospital."

Anyway, back to the penance. Remember the American Indian Kid? No? Well, there was one, and, at one point he and two of his friends meet up with Girl and some of her friends at the beach. It is there that he tells her of the story of that other kid. It turns out that that pale "family" was hunting on his ancestors land a century or so ago. His ancestors found them red handed and the two sides made a pact: as long as the Uber Palies never hunted on their land and killed their animals (I think the Palies killed a wolf...and the tribe is named after the wolf or has a wolf spirit or something that I'm sure doesn't matter anyway, and, in a flash-back scene, a tribesman (or persons) were seen WEARing a WOLF skin, so, remember, wolf), and the Wolf Peoples would never tell the moderately pale faces what the REALLY pale faces are.

This new fauxledge makes Girl investigate so she can know more. She looks up things online and buys a book where it dawns on her, this new guy in her life is a vampire! (Props to her, though, for admitting it quicker than Harker.)

She buys the book and, I think we get to see Edward again...and then after a run in with her friends, he takes her out to dinner. And then, some other forgetable things happen.

At one point he takes her into the middle of the woods...PERFECT place to kill her, but, no. He makes her articulate what he is. He then goes into a soliloquy of how he is the perfect predator, how everything about him is designed for him to attract to kill. He doesn't DO any of these things, by golly, no, but, he gives his resume about how he is perfect for the job...of killing...which he was designed to do...naturally... But, then, Edward tells Girl that he wont kill her....intentionally....because he and his "family" are vegitarian vampires. They only drink the blood of animals. Drinking only animal blood is neither new nor vegitarian for a vampire, as a matter of fact, a vampire could be defined/identified simply by the livestock dying off. It is this redefining of fiction and assigning new words to mean what they clearly do not that raises red flags.

This is the highlight of Edward's "I need you, You MUST leave me forever," bipolarism that splatters this movie. He tells her that she is his drug. She's. Like. Heroin.

At some point, they are in the woods again, but, not before Bella...THAT's it!! THAT'S Girl's name! Bella. But, not before Bella, meets Edward's parents. Who are cooking for her...and welcoming of her...despite them not wanting her to know anything when they were in the hospital. Right, so, she meets the family: Doctor, Wife, Jock, Angry, Bisexual, and Blond Edward Scissor Hands....who is the youngest. Angry doesn't like Bella now.

Edward gives Bella a tour of his very modern and open, all windows house. Yes. All windows. These vampires do not fear sun and are not slaves to time. We'll get to that later. First, though, Edward does not sleep. Ever. Nope, never. He doesn't have a coffin to block out the sunlight, he doesn't have to have earth from his homeland to rejuvinate him, no Lazarus chamber or nothing. He does not sleep during the night, he does not sleep in the light. He does not sleep in a bed, he does not slumber with the undead. He can do better things with his time if he watches Bella sleep. Right, so, his house, and now, we go outside.

What happens outside one may ask (though, hopefully nobody reading this)? Edward goes into a monologue again. After he expositions for another 15 minutes, he concludes with, 'You want to see what happens when we go in the sun?' And he goes in the sun. And the audience expects to see something horrid. And the audience is right. He turns around and it appears....the sun makes him sweat. But, no, I'm wrong. "OOOH!! You're like a diamond!" It wasn't beads of perspiration I saw but Edward sparkling glitter. I'm glad Bella said something (but at the same time must point out, that if a movie has to tell you what's happening because it cannot actually physically convey it to the senses, it is doing something wrong and should be in radio) because I would never have picked up on that. So, to recap: if a vampire in this series goes out in the sun, do not take a picture because he will take forever to load on your myspace page. One final thing about this, I was going to compare this to a stripper, as female strippers have this new thing of wearing glitter, and, it's an appropriate corelation because his shirt is open so one gets to see more of his sparkly body.

If you think that is the stupidest thing about the movie, well, do you have another thing comming! If you thought that vampires only play apple hacky-sack, well, do you have another thing comming! It turns out, vampires also play baseball. At least American ones do. But, not just regular baseball, no. Stormy Baseball. And, I would like to emphatically stress thoroughly that if this movie doesn't tell you a reason, you just have to sit there and wonder WHY on EARTH can't you get ye flask....I mean, WHAT in the WORLD is going on. Case in point, one of the vampire family members asks Bella to ump their baseball game, because they can only play in the rain, for a reason, well, she'll see *wink*. After two hits, my friend asks, "I don't get it why do they have to play in the rain?" ...It's not so much the rain as it is a thunderstorm. You see, they hit the ball with the bat with so much force, it sounds like a clap of thunder. This movie doesn't let the laws of physics ruin the imposibility of the vampires transfering their supernatural powers to inanimate objects so that a) a bat can hit the ball without doing damage to either, b) the wood of the bat knocking a baseball to make a sound loud enough to be heard by others miles away, less enough to change that sound into sounding like thunder, and c) the ability for a regular wooden bat to hit a regular baseball, thrown with supernatural force, and keeping all things involved unbroken, sending the ball miles away.

Angry still hates Bella.

Then, some other vampires come into the movie. They're not, "New," per se, because we have seen them before earlier in the movie, as a matter of fact, they were talked about by the family of vampires (which, I believe, defined, is a "coven") in an obvious sort of way...unless you're a naive character in the movie, but, if we focused on them, we wouldn't see so much Bellward Face. So, new vampires come onto the field and Angry gets defensive for Bella. Bad vampires leave.

In a later scene, Black Vampire (who has had more time in front of a screen being interviewed for this movie than in the actual movie) is at the Coven Home to give a warning: He doesn't want to get involved in anything but those other two that he was with do. That guy vampire he was with, has senses unrivaled. That woman he was with, don't underestimate her.

Ugh. Is this over yet?

Right, and, yes, so, since Bad Vampire, I think his name is, "Team James," who, hasn't really been developed, is now hunting Bella. You know how we got the speech from Team Edward before? Now, to demonstrate, is Team James.

Edward gets the idea to have Bella run away...and then be separated from her. Within a matter of five minutes however, Bella is back in Washington (Forks, Washington...I don't know if that's trying to be clever in any way) facing James...in a ballet studio. Yes, no fangs, Edward just wanting to hold Bella and not go any further, and the climax of the movie is in a ballet studio...so help me God I want Stephen Segal and Chuck Norris cast in the next movie.

Capsaisin doesn't hurt vampires. I lost that one. I thought for sure that pepper spray WOULD actually burn a vampire, but, no, not in Twilight. I mean, garlic repells them but....ah....I keep forgetting, this is the vampire redefined.

Yes, then, at a moment I wanted to explain to my friend when she said, "At least we know a cross can't hurt them," as there was a equiform plus sign thing in the ballet studio, which had no effect on any of the vampires (Edward got there before the others, but, the others did get there. I should probably say that Bella arrived alone.). It's confession time: a cross could not originally harm/kill/repell a vampire. Vampire stories developed thousands of years before Catholocism and Her symbols, crosses didn't originally play into any vampire story. We have that in our collective psyche thanks to Stoker's piece of Christian propeganda.

Right, and remember when Black Vampire said that James' senses are without equal? Jock and Blond Edward Scissor Hands take the arms of James and hold him and Bisexual Vampire snaps his neck. They then burn him. In the ballet studio. While all this is happening, in the ballet studio, Bella was bitten, in the ballet studio. Edward sucks the venom out of her arm (yes, that's right, venom....maybe it's like, because, if they ARE of the devil, and the devil was represented as a snake....or, the author/director doesn't know what the hell they are on about), and, it is alluded to, some of her blood. I know it makes for a believable event in the scene of the movie, but, having another person sucking on your arm...again and again and again...to get that shot has got to be VERY uncomfortable...and odd...and germy.

Bella passes out and wakes up in the hospital. A lie told to her mom is then told to her as Edward "sleeps" (his arms change position on the wide shot and close up; look for it) and her mom leaves the room. It is then Edward's turn, one final Toby Maguire sized, "you have to leave me forever," angsty push before Bella says no.

Everybody goes back to Forks just in time for Prom! One final kiss (on a neck) and the movie ends.

I'm currently ovulating. That being said, even at this time, this movie is too girly.

All the comments of it is a romance for tweens...but, that's not what a vampire has ever been. Either we're going to present a vampire as innocuous (Count Von Count or Count Chocula) or he's meant to be the villan (Count Orlock). There is no reason to present a brooding vampire with Jonas Brother's Morals. Promoting chastity has nothing to do with falling in love with a vampire. I know that Dark Shadows, Coppola, and Rice have shown brooding vampires caring about their consequences, and, while that is new to the genre...VERY new, these vampires never denied themselves.

And speaking about chastity, Edward keeps telling Bella that he does have the potential to lose control. Bella keeps telling Edward that she doesn't care and she trusts him. At anytime, if this is non-metaphorical, Edward could rape Bella...but, Bella wants to be with him regardless. In her head, she believes so much that he wont harm her, she stays with him. (I must admit, I have read the Wikipedia pages on these books and the summary tells a lot about the author. This series was obviously written by a female: she asks for sex in future books and Edward, EDWARD, doesn't want to make love to her.)

I hated this movie because it's so utterly unrealistic. It is very pandering and naive. It is not at all based in the truth of reality. It doesn't speak of what is but of a view the author would like to be. The movie plays like it was written by a 10 year old girl who doesn't know much of the world. Edward is a 107 year old vampire...and he has never grown up. Interview With A Vampire's Claudia matures with years; True Blood's Bill, though he retains his gentlemanly ways of the mid nineteeth century, he too is a believable character. I chose Claudia and Bill in relation to Edward because I have never read the books of any of these stories but am basing what I know on what I have seen through visual media. Claudia and Bill, stuck in their bodies, moved on; Edward, turned into a vampire in the prime of his life, doesn't act like a 17 year old man.

This movie, goes against everything known and believed about the vampire throughout the ages. It redefines what has been redefined. I now understand Mormonism.

In other news, I have decided to become a vegitarian; I shall start immediately with steak tartar.

God be praised! I am victorious!

My very first e-Bay auction, and I won it. Sure I paid more than I wanted to, but, the important thing is I WON!!! I thought it would be a little dicey at the end when I got a message on my phone saying I had been outbid, but, I replied back (twice) and waited. I thought for sure 30 seconds before the item ended somebody would outbid me, but, they didn't! I've wanted this for at least two years and now I am getting it! Limited Edition! MINE!!!

Can't wait to start selling!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

"Making To many mistake's"

That was what the letter read in part today stating that any time the drawer is short, it will be taken out of my paycheck.

This is because the drawer has been short the last two times. ...I am not the only one in the drawer, mind you. The owner also handles transactions. She is typically in a hurry...

The Owner's Husband (other Owner) came in today. Called my name and then motioned me to follow him. I asked him loudly, "Do you want me to follow you? Do you want me to follow you up there?"

He did and it was to tell me that I have to re-do inventory (yet, again), and, it has been in the computer wrong all this time. He has a system of how the inventory goes in the computer. It goes, Product, Name Brand, Description, Color. This is so we can find it right away.

We use QuickBooks. It has a "Search" function. If I type in part of a product, it will turn up. There's no reason to have such a system, but, I can appreciate this system to make things easier.

I need to go back, though out all the computer inventory, all the list, and re-do everything. That's a productive way to spend time.

I just wish somebody would have told me this before being at the job for almost two months.

He also told me, "These shortages need to stop. You need to knock that off."

I spoke up. I told him that Janell and Melissa were also in the till.

For some reason, he didn't know about Melissa (Janell said she was new to the computer, which, she may have been, I trained her on it just last week), but, it's irrelevant because she wasn't there the past two days.

Janell couldn't have done this..... Even though she's in a hurry. And I never am.

Have I also mentioned if I stay an extra 5, 10, 15, 20, or 25 minutes, she is not going to pay me for the time? So, for example, if I stay an extra ten minutes three times in one week, which adds up to one half hour, I don't get paid that half hour. It confuses her, she claims. ...At least I probably wont get paid that half hour. She mentioned it when Melissa (the part time Front Desk) said she's staying to finish what she was doing, but, she was clocking out at 1230. Janell said, in front of a customer, "Good, don't write you're leaving at ten after or 15 after because you're not going to get it."

Let's review, shall we? I don't get paid for all my time there, I have been warned that if there's a discrepancy between the computer and the till, I wont get paid for more of my time there, and her husband came in as the muscle to tell me how to do my job.

....What's my incentive for my lowest paying job, ever?

I did get a ciggy today. From a customer of hers that I drove home. That was better than gas money.

In other news, I went to the answering service in town to pick up an application today (they are not yet hiring, but, there's a big turnover in May, usually, for some reason). The guy there seemed impressed when I told him that I could type over 60 wpm w/o error.

Also, I called up a Prof yesterday to see if anybody called her for a reference. She said no, but, I called up my former Answering Service Boss and she said yes, last week, from the place where I applied, somebody called, on Thursday or Friday, and she seemed impressed because my former boss gave me a glowing reference and told me I'd be perfect for that job.

Friday, March 20, 2009

The Purple Muppet never corrected me. Ah Ah Ah!

I'm counting out the cash register today as I do every day before I leave. There may be some sales still to go in the day, but, if it's just one or two, or it looks like none, before I leave, typically, I was count the money/credit card reciepts/checks, etc. in the till.

I was putting the dimes in groups of five on the binder paper so I could tell at a glance how many I had.

My boss sees this and chuckles and says, "Is that how you count?"

"As opposed to how?" I inquire, wanting to know if there was some better way.

"I suppose everybody has their own way," she said laughing again.


What? What is that supposed to mean? I really wanted her to tell me what she meant and if she had a better way.

"Is that how you count?"

Well, I TYPICALLY count using random letters, colors, and shapes, but, I figured today, I'd try something different.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Now I know why there's a song about it....

It all makes sense!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhklohomo where the winds come roaring down the plain!"

Actually, Oklohomo is our neighbour state.

It's on the bottom.

Speaking about on the bottom, I hate my job. It's like an abusive relationship I've been in before. Trying to get a job I turned down earlier...praying that will happen. I want to tell more, but, there's so much, and, might as well keep one post short to throw off the average.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Sukkot Small Towns!

I went shopping last night. I went to WalMart. I was very excited to see this Passover Display, and it made me think, "Perhaps I'm not in such a small backwoods area after all."

That thought was short lived.
It's Easter!! Finally, we can get rid of those Santa Chocolates!!!
To credit them, there were no pork sausages or cheeseburgers on the display.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Humility or Disrespect?

I posted the following on a Catholic Forum for advice. The replies I got were all of one nature. I shall post the original cunundrum along with the two replies for a better understanding. I apologize for the big paragraphs. Originally it was typed as individual paragraphs, but, I'm not going to take up more space here.

Initial Post:
Hey All.I am asking you because you are Catholic and have a better understanding of what I'm going through.I moved to OK from IL in January. I was able to get a job 14 days later. It was advertised as, "Receptionist," or something like that at a Salon. I wasn't going to apply, but, it was on the way between two other places to which I applied. I applied on a Friday and was called on Saturday.It's really more than a receptionist job, as I was told after I was hired. It's also sales and cleanining up the place and making sure that the business runs smoothly and being my boss' right hand person. She said that the actual title of the job is, "Salon Manager," but, I'm not there yet.She also told me that it's not a part-time job, but, though I have been there for over a month now, it's still part time hours. Even if I work full time (all when the shop is open), and take an hour for lunch each day, I'll still be 32.5 hours AT BEST.Did I mention that this is the lowest paying job I've ever had, too? It is UNDER minimum wage. $6. Per hour. It was her husband's idea: start out small and if they really want the job, they'll work and can get raises. The last person who was there for a while was there for 2 years and was making $8/hr.The cost of living down here is not as expensive, but, all in all, I think my bills are more than my income. If it wasn't for me selling land, I don't think I could make it at all.If nothing else, not that I don't feel God will provide, because He has and He will, but, none of the taxes are taken out of my check. Providing I make over $600 while there, I will get a 1099 next year so I can pay the taxes. ....To be honest, I think I'll need a part time job just to pay the government back because I cannot save up any money as it is.I prayed for a job. I prayed for a career. I told my boss I like this job because I didn't want to have to look for work again (who knew if I would find any), and disappoint my family who was so happy I had got a job.I turned down other jobs that Monday (a Legal Secretary where I'd be making $8/hr, because she didn't get back to me in a timely fashion, and I didn't feel comfortable quitting my new job when both the Lawyer and the Salon Owner request, "loyalty," out of their workers, and a potential job for inbound calls...potential because they wanted to bring me in for a FIRST interview....and that was about 1.5 hours away). I wanted to be the one for this woman. I knew she was getting sick of training people and training people isn't easy, especially when you are the only one there.I prayed for humility and so, I accepted this job, where I'm asked to do everything but hair and nails. I have to clean and balance the drawers and help customers et al.I also have to deal with my boss. She's a good Baptist woman and that's what also attracted me to this job (I've never been at a place where we opened with prayer before), but, I can see now why other people quit on her.Should she make it to May, this shop will be open 7 years, and she says it's not her business but the Lord's Business.Besides the money issue (and she always tells her clients, money isn't everything...and I agree, but, when one cannot pay the meanest of bills, that motto is a load of rubbish), she will say one thing and say something contradictory throughout the day.I have taken her saying that I'm not wonderful at my job (she'll praise me on my phone work, but not acknowledge all else that I do). I have taken her slight insults (regarding my weight, and not being there to sell a pair of contacts when I was doing inventory in the back room, like she told me -- I CAN'T BILOCATE!!!). Today, though, something happened TWICE that made me wonder if it wasn't time to start looking for a new job.She was testing out a new girl for a part time Front Desk position on Saturday (my job, but, even more part time than it is now). I thought she was going to be hired, but, yesterday my boss told me that she was never going to be hired and she had told her that, but, she was only trying her out.The reason this new girl was brought in, I believe, was because I had left early the day before due to a malady. I also called in the week before one day because I was sick, so, I missed 10 hours (9 if one takes lunch into account) in two weeks. Like I said, I am the person to make sure the business runs so that my boss can do hair.So, there was a new new girl today. I got annoyed when she was visiting with the Massage Therapist, but, I thought, well, maybe she's a better multi-tasker than I am and it's better I do this labouring work (sweeping/cleaning/inventory), because I'll be the full time person there, so, it's best I know where all the inventory is. At one point, though, my boss tells me that I can get her to help me or get her to do it, so, I show her how to do the inventory.She finishes the one room and asks me when is lunch and I tell her, if she's on the same schedule as me, between either 1230 and 1330 or 1300 to 1400, but, if she's hungry, ask Our Boss, and I'm sure she'll let her go. (She said she had to go to the realator's.) She would be gone from 1200 to 1300 and I could go to lunch from 1300 to 1400).

Initial Post II:
She scurries out of the shop and calls about 40 minutes later, and I guess she's decided to go back to her old job because they offered her more money. My boss tries to talk her out of it (if that is really what the case is), but, asks her to think about it.My boss then says in front of me and in front of clients, "I really liked her. I wish she would have stayed. Whenever I hire someone I REALLY like and who are good at their job, they always leave me."I didn't know how to take that.A few minutes later she says, again, in front of me and in front of clients, "I was hoping to have a good crew going by my anniversary, but, oh well."Saints have put up with worse, I am aware, and, I realise that ranting about all of this will not help me but only add more time in Purgatory rather than accept the sufferings here, but, at the same time, the American in me thinks, "persuit of happiness." I am aware I am subject to my boss and that she deserves my respect.The motto for the shop is, "Honesty, Loyalty, and Respect."I have signed a contract with her that I am bound to her for 6 months, should I quit on her, she can keep my last week's pay check.Finally in all this, remember Saturday New Hire? The one who she was never going to hire? Because this new new girl quit, she wanted me to call up the one who was there on Saturday. She then told me, though she was telling me she was just testing her out for a few days, she had planned to bring New Hire in for two days a week, and New New Hire in for three days (I had assumed she just meant to test out). I call New Hire and alert my boss she is on the phone, and my boss picks up and says, "Hi, I meant to call you earlier....how would you like to come in..."This other girl starts tomorrow, I think,...againBeing fired will not do my self-esteem any wonders, but, if it is God's Will....I just don't know what I should do. A friend I met through my parents told me to start looking for another job, not just part-time, a real nother job.Again, I prayed for humility, but, try as I might, I just have not been happy at this job. Is God trying to extend His Love to me by providing me such a wonderful oportunity to get over my pride or do I deserve better as a human being?Opinions?

Reply to the Replies 1:
Thank you all, and I ask for others' comments as well only because I know I'm missing an opportunity here to share in the sufferings of Christ. If there's anybody who sees it that way, please let me know.Though, I've been thinking about it, perhaps I am becomming proud in developing a martyr complex? That wont help.Anyway, Corki, I quote you because, I thank you for your comment, and I'd like the forum to know, I looked at the minimum wage website (yes, I am in the US). It turns out that only employers with 10 or more employees need to pay minimum wage (unless it's a waiting job). I really don't know how many people she would plan to hire, but, except for my job, the others (cosmotologist, stylist, nail tech -- assuming any are hired), are either percentage or booth rent, MEANING, either they will either get 60% of the payment of any customer they work on and my boss will get 40% (which is pretty standard, I think) until they get clientelle of their own. IF they have clientelle, then they make all the money they make from their clients, but, have to pay my boss since they are taking up space in her shop. It is doubtful she's going to hire 10 or more people for front desk.What do you mean, "without getting something in return"? That last sentence, what?]I can also make commission, if I either sell a product(s) or bring people in. 10% of the sale. I was doing well my first week, but, then she told me, more specifically how, that I was kind of taking advantage of the system. I've tried to sell things, but, the customers weren't interested at my suggestions.My favourite piece of advice I've gotten from her is I don't need to sell the items, the items sell themselves.Some do. ...Not all...Also, funny thing, because she wanted me to start wearing make-up, and because I wanted to help the business (I bought a Swiffer Vac that I hope to be able to take back without the box to get my money back), and because I wanted to see if Paul Mitchell products are really better than generic, and various other things, AND, because for my own vanity, I've also purchased violet contacts ($27.25 with tax) and a scrunchie made out of purple synthetic hair ($10): I've paid her probably about as much as she has paid me.

Reply to the Replies 2:

Thank you ALL for the replies!!I am on my lunch break at home now as I type this.It may interest you to know that last night I began to look for other work. I sent in my resume and called a place this morning. It is still under minimum wage, but, more than my first job, and more than I am making now, and hours are 40-49, IF I get this job. IF I get this job, it appears to use more of my gifts. I interview et al tomorrow afternoon after I get off of work.Regarding the contract: I typed it up. It was originally worded so that if I am no longer employed by my boss I lose my last paycheck. I typed it up so that if I am fired, I am not entitled to it. I didn't want to be fired AND no paycheck.Cleaning was always part of the position. She wants everything done and now. It's not easy to jump in with both feet and do everything when the filing system is not organized and I don't know where anything is. I asked her the first week I was there one day, "What do you want done first, sweeping or *some office thing that needed to be done but I cannot remember now*?" Her response? "All of it."I also pointed out to her, approximately the first week I was there, that the anti-virus program she had said that it was at risk or something. I pointed this out while a customer was waiting to pay (everything is on the computer). My boss said, "Okay well, we can worry about that later, we'll take care of this now."I wasn't worried about it. I wanted to point this out to her and await her instructions if I should close that or not. I wanted her to be aware of the situation. I later found out she doesn't much know about computers. As a matter of fact, I went back after hours last Saturday to help her e-mail something (off the clock. I volunteered. I want her to know how to e-mail).The computer hasn't worked for the past 3 days. It will turn on, but, we can't get it to start up, really.The contacts: These are non-prescription vanity contacts. They're just different colors. She may have a license to sell them for all I know.She gave me a compliment today, the same compliment she's been giving me for the past couple of weeks: Once I get the other stuff down that I need to do, she thinks I'll be great at the job....if I still want the job.I have been working toward the Salon Manager job, but, with comments like this and such...perhaps it's not for me.While she has assured me that I'm getting there little by little, I'm still just getting there.There's more I want to say, but, my hour is almost up.Edit: Also, as it stands, I am not sure if I'm going to do the two weeks thing or just keep working part time (mornings some days) until August when my contract is up. My contract stipulates that I either renew or give two weeks notice THEN.

Monday, March 2, 2009

This one was too good to let go.

I'm not quite sure the name of this. It's like one of those Rocky & Bullwinkle options. It's either, "Guess when Attia lost her patience," or, "Does My Mom Understand English?" Keep in mind, she had called me twice today. Once she woke me up from a nap (a three hour at that point nap) and once right before she popped on Yahoo! to ask me how does she get out of the Adobe Page on which she was.

See, when I lived at home, she could rant and rave and blame me for her computer not working all she wanted, threaten to not let me on her computer, and despite the threat, call me in there so I could go on her computer and tinker around to fix it.

Now all I have is her description of her computer screen, something that I was trying to help her with over the phone (which she couldn't do b/c she didn't have the "Start" button on her screen....and I wasn't thinking of having her press the Windows Button on the keyboard), and as you will see, continuing here.

I put in the times so the reader has a point of reference by which to go.

Without further adieux:

"adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:37:58 PM): Hey. I'm here.
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:38:13 PM): I'm invisible, but, I'm here.
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:38:31 PM): Anyway, can you now get to "Start" at the bottom left hand of your screen?
Mom (3/2/2009 2:39:59 PM): Thanks again for trying to help computer illiterate mom. I'm back on my screen.
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:40:33 PM): Okay, so, can you now get to "Start" at the bottom left hand of your screen?
Mom (3/2/2009 2:41:58 PM): I'm happy the gray matter is working. I remembered what I had to tell the students when they couldn't get back to their original screen.
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:11 PM): Mom.....
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:12 PM): CAN
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:14 PM): YOU
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:16 PM): GET
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:17 PM): TO
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:20 PM): "START"
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:22 PM): AT
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:23 PM): THE
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:26 PM): BOTTOM
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:28 PM): LEFT
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:29 PM): OF
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:31 PM): YOUR
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:34 PM): SCREEN?
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:42:41 PM): And, I'm glad you remembered. :)
Mom (3/2/2009 2:43:04 PM): Honey Yes, thank-you no problem
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:43:21 PM): Alright. Good. Click. "Start".
Mom (3/2/2009 2:43:50 PM): Why?
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:44:06 PM): Because, I want to show you what "PrtScn" does.
Mom (3/2/2009 2:44:29 PM): Okay
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:45:07 PM): Alright, once you click "Start" go to, "All Programs" then, from there, go to "Acessories," and finally, click to open, "Paint".
Mom (3/2/2009 2:47:28 PM): Yes, I did that, a blank paint screen came up
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:47:35 PM): Good!
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:48:19 PM): Alright, now go to the top left of the screen. "File" is the first folder/command. Next to it is "Edit". Click "Edit" then click "Paste"
Mom (3/2/2009 2:50:50 PM): Attia, I can't finish this task. Dad just walked in and I must hop in the shower. I love you . Please call me once you get your mail tomorrow.Mom
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:51:08 PM): Alright. Love you too. :)
adstrinity (3/2/2009 2:51:25 PM): :-*
Mom (3/2/2009 2:51:38 PM): bye :-*
Mom has signed out. (3/2/2009 2:51 PM)
Last message received on 3/2/2009 at 2:51 PM"

"I CAN'T FINISH THIS TASK"?!!!! It doesn't take that long!!! One will see she had over a minute and a half to do that!!! HOW CAN SHE NOT GET TO THIS BEFORE SHE HAS TO LOG OFF?!!!!

And, in case anybody is wondering (not that anybody reads this), no, my dad doesn't usually come home before 1500 and my mom's way of greeting him isn't getting in the shower. I am assuming that tonight is Opera night, which is why my dad is home early and my mom has to get ready.

At least that's what I'm hoping. I am DESPERATELY HOPING is the case, and that my dad isn't coming home at that hour for no reason and my mom's way of greeting him is in a manner I shouldn't be thinking about.

I'm to old to be a.....sister...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


That looks cool, right? That's what I want my license plate down here to say.

But, before I get my license plate, I have to get my license. Before I get my license, they need to see my birth certificate. This is what they told me when my mom was still down here and I inquired about it. My mom goes back to IL and sends me a copy of the Birth Certificate. I tell her it wont work. She asks me why wont it work? It should work. I tell her it's because it's the copy, they need the original. However, I will try.

Well, I cannot try the monday after I recieve that because that's President's Day, so, though I have the day off, the Government buildings/businesses are closed.

I go this past Monday. I even get tarted up to go this past Monday (I will post pics just as soon as I think it's inappropriate....). I go in the afternoon.

I almost slip out the door without my Birth Certificate Copy, but, I remember without it this whole thing is useless and so I go get it.

I get there and sign in and wait. In the meantime, there was a mother who brought her son to get his license. He was sent home from McAlester High because his hair was purple. I commented him on it because it matched his jacket. The hair was a light frosted lavender. I asked him to take off his cap so I could see it all. It was only the ends of some parts. The rest of his hair was blond. It turns out his hair was in a faux hawk style and the tips were coloured when he went to....some....water park or something over the weekend. His mother, wearing a Christian sweatshirt, thought it was pretty dumb too.

My name is called. I go up there. I present the Copy.

I am told that they need the Original. They need the one with the Seal. They need the one from which that was copied. I take my Copy and immediately call my mom (yes, I was in the building and I had to be reminded to go outside).

Let everybody else learn from my mistake. You MUST have the ORIGINAL Birth Certificate if you are getting a license in OK because the rules have changed.

....You could still get by with a copy or a forgery if you're running for President of this country, though....

But, I'm much too Ravenclaw for that.