God's Few, God's Humble, God's Priests

He must increase, I must decrease.

Hey Blog,

I've been meaning to get in touch with you for a while. Remind me to share with you my epiphany about Christmas and Sex. No, seriously, you'll like it.

But, that's not why I'm here tonight, Blog. I'm here because of...well, I should probably write about God's graces as well, but, my intent was to write on a priest and his actions.

It's good. One never hears anything good about priests, EVER, but, oh my gosh, I can't believe this happened.

Alright, I think I'm going to save God's graces for another day (interestingly enough, the three occurances happened this same day....AND, because of this same priest).

Of course, as with all my writtings, a little (more) exposition: Feast of the Circumcision of Our Lord, 2011, Fr. Van Der Putten, in his homily, urged all to make the New Year's Resolution to assist at one more Mass per week than one is obligated. He said they offer Masses at 7:00 and 8:00, and surely, people can make time before work to come to one of those Masses, and if not, he will gladly offer a 0600 Mass.

Knowing I live 2 hours away, and work an hour fifteen, one and one-half hours away, I knew that was impossible. ...

However...

There is a Friday evening Mass offered at 1900. If I leave work on time, I could get there, probably by 1800, but, this has never happened. I have gone before, though.

BUT, surely, this urging of the priest, excludes me....I mean, I live two hours away! That's, like, another, like, $80-$90 gas/month. I can do an extra Mass once a month (which, he also mentioned in his homily is not enough), but once a week is just too much.

I was almost on the verge of tears because of this. I KNOW, it is not binding, per say; the priest cannot MAKE us do this in any way....but, it's not for nothing he's saying to do this. BUT, I mean, c'mon, SURELY, ~I~ am the exception, ~I~ get a dispensation from this.

And after wrestling with my conscience:

Conscience: You have somewhere better to be?
Me: .......
Conscience: You have something better to do?
Me: .......
Conscience: You going to put something above Jesus, really? When He's CLEARLY allowing an option for you?
Me: >_<
Conscience: You think God wont provide with the money? Of all the things you're going to skimp on, Mass? There's NO where else one can allow for exceptions in one's budget?
Me: ARGGHHH! (sound of my will breaking)
Conscience: :) :D :)

So I was at Mass on Friday (we'll see how long this lasts. I also made NYR to 1. Pray the Rosary everyday, 2. Pray to the Sacred Heart everyday, 3. Pray to St. John the Baptist everyday), and afterwards, while I was still kneeling in prayer, I spoke with Fr. McCambridge walking out the door, who allowed me to stay to pray some more and he could talk to other parishoners. He knew I needed to speak with him (I think I called him and he hadn't responded) and I told him so. He knew.

1. He offered to wait for me.
After a while, I finished and I went out to see him where he was talking with two other men. Kind of on cue, they left.

He and I went inside the small area between the doors that lead outside and the doors that lead to the church part of the church.

2. He made himself avalible to me.

We spoke (more on this later...possibly).

3. He even offered to go WAY out of his way for me.

Anyway, when he was done counseling me, he offered to give me a blessing. ( :D :D :D ) After he gave me a blessing, he asked me where I'm parked and said that it's not the safest neighbourhood so, he offered to walk me to my car. (I half thought this was unnecessary because, well, like, I'm invincible.... I don't know, it's like, nothing has happened before, it's like God is watching out for us who go to Mass there....I don't know...I've never had a problem before...even in the dark (of course, there were other people still there those times.))

I said it's funny he says that because whenever I mention Mass, people always ask me the one 5 minutes away (because I am so blessed to live 5 minutes away from a Catholic Church ( :D )), or the one in Tulsa, because they all know it's the "bad" part of Tulsa. "But, so far so good," or something like that.

He gave me a queer look and said, "Well let's keep it that way."

He opened the doors to the church part of the church, probably knelt in front of the tabernacle, turned off the lights, and knelt again in front of the tabernacle. I was against the door, holding it open all this time.

We step outside, he gets his keys and fumbles with them, checking them in the light to see which key is the one needed to lock the door. As he locks the door, I start walking towards my car. He quickly catches up and walks on my left side, the side between me and the street (though, there is grass and a gate that seperates the small parking lot and the street). I thought that was rather chivalrous and gallant, for lack of better terms.

We make small talk about the weather and such and I get to my car (I notice the car he drove has a pro-life bumper sticker and "Neutrons have Mass?! I didn't even know they were Catholic!" I love puns, but, that is lame.).

I tell him my house is half decorated like Hogwarts from the Harry Potter universe but I tried to keep it not tacky and he laughs. :)

4. He waits for me to get in my car.

5. I then notice, he's behind my car, near his car, watching me, waiting to see if my car will start, I guess.

I then leave, thanking God for him almost the entire way home.

Him walking me to my car is something I cannot get over. This happened on 1/7/11 and here it is, the Commemoration of the Baptism of Our Lord, 1/13/11, and it still touches me. I think it inspired me to be a better and more selfless Catholic this week. Like I said, I thought it was odd yet chivalrous and gallant at first, but, then I thought about it more and more (how could one not?!) and this is what occured to me (the next day, I think): This priest did the most in persona Christi thing that anybody has ever done for me (to my knowledge), firstly, and secondly, he was very in persona Christi in general.

Did he walk me to my car just to be nice, NO! he walked me to my car, without regard to his safety, nay, he walked to my car with total abandonment for his safety. He could have walked on my other side, his car was on the other side of mine (across from mine, on the other side of the small parking lot), but, he walked on my left side. If something was going to happen to me, he wasn't going to permit it. He was going to be in the way of anything; if something was to befall me, it would target him first. He was RIGHTBY my side, blocking me (as much as a very tall, very lean man could). Whatever may have happened to me that night (I'm still holding I would have been fine....but, I'm not going to say no to a priest who wants to walk me to my car), Father McCambridge was going to ...sacrifice... himself so that I would be okay.

I mean, yes, it's grand that he has given me absolution and the Eucharist, more so than I know, but, this was ...practical. This was...real. This was tangible. This is, like, really, the message of the Gospel. This is the graces that absolution and the Eucharist bestow so that one can die to self and live for Christ.

THEN, it occurs to me days later, NOT ONLY did he act in persona Christi, he was very much acting as my Father. He was going to protect his child at all costs. He was going to make sure she wasn't left stranded, either. I mean, if I was going to die that night, THEN would have been the perfect time, I had received the Eucharist AND gotten a blessing from a priest. My soul was good to go, but, no, Father McCambridge was going to protect and defend my body that night.


I think he may have even followed me part of the way home (I'm pretty sure I noticed his car going up one off-ramp while mine went down another), but, that may have been coincidence.

He went way out of his way for me. WAY out. Not only physically, but, the things he offered to do for me, should the need arise. No regard for himself (or, at least, that's how it seems to me).

And the thing is, it wasn't personal; he would do the same for any of his children or any of God's children.

Father McCambridge was in the Marines. I don't know if he was a Marine or a chaplin for them, but, it wouldn't surprise me if he was trained to fight for his country, just because he is so fit and orderly and seemingly disciplined.

He defended one of this Country's daughters, and, for that, by this post, I salute him.

Thank you, Father McCambridge. You are in my prayers.

Thank you, Holy Trinity, one God, for creating this man,
Thank you Holy Trinity, one God, for calling him to the priesthood,
Thank you Holy Trinity, one God, for sending him to Tulsa,
Thank you Jesus for giving him Your Sacred Heart.
Thank you Jesus for giving him Your Sacred Heart to give to others.
Amen.

Temperance for Punnishment

+JMJ

Disclaimer: This one's kinda long. No, longer than average. This one took me a week. You may want to fix yourself a snack, first.



My mom has this story about me that I refuse to believe is true.



It seems that when I was 2, I kept telling my mom I was hungry. Apparently she wasn't moving fast enough because the next thing she knows, she turns around to find out I had gone to the refrigerator, opened it, positioned a chair (I think, not sure) to stand on to get to the Kraft singles, got a slice of cheese, unwrapped it and started eating it.


My mom tells this story because she adds to the end of it, "It was at this point, I knew, 'This kid will never starve.'"


I tell you this as a precursor to this entry.



It's Lent.


No matter how many times this happens (once a year, it's cyclical), my friends are always surprised when I tell them.


I write this to help my friends understand what I'm doing this year.



As much as I could have given up bubble baths, because I love the way the bubbles feel between my toes, I've decided to do something more.


Last year I gave up eatting in between meals. That worked well for those 46 days.


I'm trying that again this year....with not as much success.


Other things I'm doing this year? Meatless Wenesdays AND Fridays, little red meat, no alcohol, portion control, and, I was surprised myself when most of the time so far I also didn't eat after midnight....or break a fast as close to midnight as possible.


AND, no Food Network on the tele.


Some may think this is overkill, but, I assure you, it's not. When I'm trying to subject food and modify it, I'd just be watching Channel 231 like it was pornography. Furthermore, I think that the network in and of itself doesn't help what with a new show entitled, "The Best Thing I Ever Ate."



Also, over indulgence in alcohol is also gluttony; it is using and misusing alcohol to the point of making one sick, which is what too much food can do as well.


I know I have a problem with food because I was looking up a recipe online....and it led me to other recipes....which led to a story....and, I was fantasizing about all the wonderful things I could make....


I had to snap out of it and navigate away from that one particular site.


How much do I love food?


Q: Why did I become Christian?
A: Was subjected to this "A Thief in the Night" series about the Rapture. Was athiest then (7th Grade). After seeing this low budget B 70s Evangelical propeganda, I was concerned I'd end up left behind. What happens to those left behind (according to this erronious belief?) You sell your soul to Satan and willingly damn yourself to make a living or
you

die.



I remember waking up one morning, worrying, 'Okay, if the Rapture were to happen, and I couldn't buy anything, what could I eat? Callendar....paper's edible....' (Because I'd have to hide from the government or something as well lest they'd kill me....or something.)


Q: What's Attia's favourite bird?

A: Vulture. None of this, "Early bird gets the worm," ballocks, no. Vulture eats only dead things. Vulture wakes up, oh look, there is food waiting for it. It's God's plan B should something not have the honour of being burried.



Q: What's Attia's first thought waking up on Ash Wednesday & Good Friday?

A: "I can't eat, I can't eat, I can't eat, I can't eat, I can't eat, I can't eat," usually acompanied throughout the day with a countdown until midnight.


(Ash Wednesday & Good Friday are not only abstinance days, days where, in America, anyway, all Catholics between the ages of 14 but not yet 60, provided they are in good health and are not pregnant or nursing, must abstain from meat, but also fasting days, the only two required by the Church in the entire year. These days 18 - 59 year old Americans (I think these are the ages) are only allowed one full meal, and two smaller meals (but no snacking) to keep up stregnth if necessary PROVIDING that those two smaller meals do not equal another whole meal. I think if one is a manual labourer, though, there may be leweigh some even on that.)


Q: True or False: Conversing over the phone with a friend one night, Attia was distracted by a Wendy's commercial.

A: FALSE!!!!!*


Q: Attia gets a little sad when she looks at her plate and sees that she's almost done eating, or, at the very least, that one item on her plate is almost gone.

A: True. This shows I have an emotional attachment to food. I also hate just eating one thing at a meal. No matter what I'm having, I try to doctor it up with more food (instead of just pasta, and, not simply pasta, but, a filled pasta, like raviolli or tortalini, I try to have a vegetable, or, leftover vegetable pizza, and bread or something. Instead of just a cream soup, I put in rice or egg noodles to make it more substantial).



It was that third question that made me realize just how bad my gluttony was.


I kept believing that I didn't have a problem and that I could quit anytime I wanted. I wanted to believe food didn't beat me when clearly, it's pounded me, took my lunch money, and some how bought all cheap crap food which it then spoon fed me and beat me up some more.


And, it's not so much overeating. I looked up Overeater's Anonymous and I don't really have those symptoms. Gluttony is so much more than just simply overeating. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gluttony


Basically, it's putting food in the center of one's life, where only God should be. It is giving one's life to food and letting food control one's life. If one goes to that Wiki link, one sees that St. Thomas Aquinas considers eating to daintilly gluttony & I can understand why: it's being afraid of food. It's the oposite side of the same coin because it's still letting food be in control.

There was an episode of "Will & Grace," where Grace finds a new Chinese noodle place she likes. She likes the noodles there so much that she places another order to go. The character's lines before getting ready to leave the restaurant are along the lines of, 'I can't wait until I'm hungry again so I can eat these.'

That's gluttony; that's disgusting.

What I am trying to accomplish this Lent, through abstinance/fasting and prayer, is to subject food and not be subject to it. I am better than food, I was created for more than food.....but of all the addictions to have, food is right up there with air.

I always thought it was stupid when those fat people on talk shows said, "It's not like drugs or alcohol, I have to eat. You don't NEED to drink," but, I'm, thank God, not suffering from the same cross as them. I'm not a compulsive eater, because, as I said, gluttony is more than just eating. However, we DO need to eat. The only person I ever heard admit he doesn't like eating is Barry Manalow. Even he said, though, that at the end of the day, he wonders why he's shaking and then realizes he hasn't eatten.

The body is set up for food. We do need to eat to sustain life. Those on hunger strikes usually drink some special liquid to keep going or they soon die. Fasting is done as a pennance in religions, believed to make the person better. No human enjoys denying one's self, especially of something so basic because it is counter to our instinct. Not eating makes you die. The human race did not evolve for thousands of years to climb to the top of the food chain to voluntarily not eat. We had plenty of time to not eat and we didn't utilize that time. You know who did? Neither do I, because they're extinct now.

I asked a priest is there anything to help me with the fasting and the sin of gluttony and he said, and it was so helpful to hear, "Yes. Know that by fasting, you wont die." That's really important, because, he's right. It would take a lot of fasting for it to kill me. If I decided to do more, I would be uncomfortable, perhaps not really able to function (my body can go 20 hours before turning against me), but, not eating as much everyday on a whim isn't going to make my parent's outlive me.

See, the eating is, again, for survival. The more I eat, then, it follows, the more I survive: I'm the next step in evolution.



Not only do we need to eat, we need to do it daily, multiple times, preferably. We NEED to. One's body cannot properly function if one cannot digest food. It is so basic and natural, eating cannot be praised enough, but, again, it's not solely about eating; it's the glorification and fantasizing and fixating on food that causes gluttony.



And, we don't really need to be sold on eating. It ammuses me, the food commercials I'm noticing while I'm doing this. There's one for Sonic saying, "To me, food should come at the push of a button." Oh yeah, just what this country needs, an easier way to get high caloric food. I also am rather fond of the sentuous chocolate commercials. .....You know, just in case food needs to be more tempting. And, shots of food going in people's mouths, again, terriffic. Just in case we forget how to eat, we can look at TV to guide us.


I am beginning to think this country can save money by stopping adverts of food. We all need to eat. Few of us have a victory garden or a farm. We regularly go to the store. We need to go up and down multiple aisles to get what we want. If there's something new there, we're more than likely, to increase our chances of survival, going to pick it up.....especially if it's reasonably priced.



Also, I get coupons for food delivered to my e-mail.


I must admit, however, as much as I want to say this isn't just about eating inbetween meals, that is a part of it. It is annoying to want to eat or indulge in sugar only to be reminded: It's Lent. It's not about being satisfied. And, the eating between meals is just a quick fix....it's not like it curbs the appetite for the rest of the day, no. Even should I snack at one moment, I get hungry again.



And, it's not like I even have it that bad. The suggestion last year was so easy: don't eat between meals. Historically, those observing Lent did not eat meat, eggs, butter, cream, sugar, ect.... basically, they lived on vegetables....and not good ones, ones from last years harvest; this year's harvest had not yet come in. People were using the rest of what they had from last year to get by these 40 (6) days.



I learned that on a show on EWTN. Also learned: The chickens didn't know it was Lent; they continued to lay eggs. That is how the tradition of hiding eggs came about.


By not eating, my hunger pangs increase sending the signal to my brain of self abolition....by not drinking, I cannot dull this away.



I have a cousin who calls me up and tells me not only how much he's eatten at one time, but, exactly the crap food he ate throughout the day. Clearly food plays a BIG part of his life. I can even hear the smile in his voice when he talks about it.


Food should never EVER make anybody who has eatten in the past week that happy. EVER.


On the opposite side of that, I have had friends who have told me they had forgotten to eat and they have had to fast for 24+ hours for medicinal / clinical reasons. I want to say I wish I could do that, but, honestly, I know myself too well. I fantasize too much about food even when I'm not hungry.....this is what I'm trying to re-wire my brain about.


It's not about what I don't have, it's what I do have and what I can have. The more I do here on earth to curb my appetite and focus on God and place food where it belongs, the less I will have to be purged of when I die. What I'm doing is not a diet or a live-it because, that, again, puts the focus on food, weather counting calories, counting points, or keeping a food journal and eating six times a day, I am trying to....not ignore food, but, not have to ignore it. I don't want to think about food any more than is necessary. I will not be worried about what I am going to eat on any given day or how I will have to plan my schedule around food. I will be appreciative of the food I have and not wonder how can have more food. The focus is to not focus on food. This is hard for the average American family as opposed to the medieval European family because not only is there more food, but, there's all the adverts reminding us about food (including, but not limited to, the burger, chicken, & seafood fast food joints telling us about their limited time fish specials). Compare this to the other family, who used up all the butter, and sugar, and eggs, and mainly survived on vegetables....and last harvest's vegetables at that. We now have more access to food (and, I am okay with that....from a survivalist standpoint) which makes fasting harder.


Finally, I can't help but think that the reason we have to fast is because of the stupid sin of gluttony in the first place. ....I meant every word of those last two prepositional phrases. It was the stupid sin of gluttony I read, that was the original sin. The forbidden fruit in the Book of Genesis, one reads, was good for food and was pretty and blah blah blah and the woman ate it and so did the guy she was with, but, it is not specified that either were particularly hungry. They ate because they thought they could get more out of it.



My goal, this Lent, then, is to subject food to God's desire for me and not my desire. I aim not to objectify it as something to be used to gratify me, it will not be my crutch to comfort me. Food will be used to sustain me. I will try not to eat more than I need (indeed, the book, "Piers Ploughman" had a character suggest it is best to stop eating a little before you feel you are full).



I must confess, on Saturday (early morning) 3/6/10, I did eat a vegetarian egg roll even though I was....kinda full, just to not have to have the inconvienience of being annoyingly hungry. That was wrong. That was going back to what I'm trying to stop. Food is not for my entertainment. I MUST understand this. If I want to live, I have to start thinking about God first thing in the morning and not food.



AND, I must also do this for the love of God. A spiritual director said what I'm giving up this Lent (I don't think he knew), use that time to read the Bible. Good plan. I must not do this to buy my way into Heaven because that not only doesn't work and not how things are set up, that instills in me a sense of pride. I must do this because I love God and want to depend more on Him.



This year has been easier, and, as Lent goes on, I've been trying to do more and more in the way of fasting. I'm surprised how much grace God has poured into me this Lent.



AND, As much as I must stop thinking about my stomach and not do this out of pride, I must also not do this out of fear: I would put off fasting until the latest possible point I could on the days of fasting so that I would then gourge myself and also, not have to suffer hunger later. Though, this never worked (as, I was always hungry enough to break the fast a wee bit after midnight), I did it because I wanted to be able to eat meat (meat seems to fill me up more....though, I know that is psychological, and, if I ate a little something before then, I would worry about breaking my fast AND, I wouldn't be hungry after midnight, which is what I was looking forward to). I must also condition myself that it is okay to eat up to two lighter "meals" on those two fasting days if I must. Wanting meat again is just letting food win. It is okay to eat if I am hungry, and ONLY if I am hungry.

I remember having a friend over one Saturday when I was in high school. He was there for lunch and dinner. He commented about not wanting dinner because he wasn't hungry. It was the first time I had EVER heard something like that. I mean, what does eating dinner have to do with being hungry?

So, to be more appreciative of food, of how my body works, of God's plan for salvation, and of Christ's sacrifice, I am trying to become a better human being as was intended by devoting more of my life and time to not consuming things and not wondering what I can consume.

Dante's theory on the gluttonous being purged was having to run laps in order to build up an appetite, and, passing a waterfountain that they couldn't drink from in order to have that much more of a desire to quench the pallate. I don't want any of my afterlife to mimic gym class at Prarie Elementary school, so, I do this now.

I'm going to stop it here. There's other things I could go on about and will perhaps mention in an upcoming blog, but, this was an explination. Hope you all got your fill.

*It was Burger King. My train of thought really did get derailed and I apologized when I was studdering.

How badly do I need a job? The votes are in...

Seeing as I am currently unemployed and have most of an entire house at my disposal, I had already figured that now (or, "then") would be as good time as any to start with the cleaning.

As much as I wish I was done at any time after any "project" I set out to accomplish, because there is a house of stuff, STUFF THAT I WANTED MY MOM TO SORT THROUGH BEFORE SHE LEFT IN WINTER AND AGAIN WHILE SHE WAS HERE THIS SUMMER might I add, and ~my~ stuff to sort into this place, I have found this an ongoing project.

I need money. I'm not just saying that to be coy, I NEED money at this point and I need to find something that I want to do so that I can stick with it, and, I have been looking, but, not too tough. I have been looking and applying, but, not calling and confirming....and, nobody has called me.

I cannot say, at this point, though, I acknowledge a need to start being more self-sufficient, I am upset with this arrangement. It has given me time to unpack. I moved down here in January. I didn't unpack all my clothes until July. I'm still not, "fully unpacked." as there's another box full of stuff that I need to decide what to do with and then I'll probably need to rearrange some things in the house IF I want to keep them in this house before I could meld my things with them.

I bring this up because some point between the winter and the spring, I rearranged part of the kitchen. These changes made the kitchen less cluttered and more efficient because, when one keeps shoving things in cabinets and drawers, 1) One loses track of what one has, 2) One is not able to find what one needs conveniently, 3) Others may not be able to find what others need conveniently and, 4) Time and elements affect said items and they may not be fit for consumption or use of any kind anymore. This is why I wanted my mom to go through things, but, noooooo...... *Decides to leave the digressive dissertation about all the stuff I have found whilst cleaning, including, but not limited to Christmas items, out* So, when she was here in summer, and the house needed to lose a cabinet so that the water filter could be installed, she told me not to touch anything on the counter because she needed to fit those items in the cabinets underneath. No problem.

The best part of that was when she asked, "Did you know this house had a waffle iron?"
Me: No. Did you?
Mom: No.

See what fun it is to clean in an old house everyday?

So, I decided, since, while she was down here, the house got a dishwasher and she didn't rearrange more than she had to, wouldn't it be fun (yes, I am sad) to go through the cabinets and wash everything and see what all we have and put them back in a proper order....or, order? I can put all the plastics together and all the measuring cups (6, if one doesn't count the one on the ring) together, and all the great big pasta pots (8, but, who's counting) together. I could put all the spices and oils in one cabinet and all the paper/wax/foil products in another so some wont be in one and some wont be in another.

I don't know when the last time I had such a good time was.

Amongst my cleaning I found two dead flies, three dead brown spiders, a long (insect) leg, longer than the scorpion I found and, one dead scorpion. It is little, but, well preserved. It now sits atop the mantle over the fire place in a snack baggie that was lying around within a bottle/jar I found. I find that there is so much this house has to offer within itself! It's like Hogwarts, truly, because whenever I open another door, there's a surprise waiting! [Case in point, this is an edit: I have begun (and, am almost through for all I know) cleaning out three hardware drawers in the kitchen. My mom didn't want me to, but, after being not able to find measuring tape (we have 5 in the kitchen alone, 4 of which are not broken), it's happening. I don't want hardware stuff in the kitchen, but, I guess if it must stay.... In the second drawer, I found half a tube of Colgate toothpaste. I think it's Colgate Total, so, it's in the last 4 years, if not much sooner, I'm guessing. I also found a toothbrush holder and a toothbrush in the first drawer. Not the same brand of toothbrush and holder, mind you...]

Well, that only got me so far. There were three cabinets that my mom didn't want me to go through, but, after being sick of not knowing what stuff this house still held, finding out that there were part of different collections everywhere, SOME OF THE STUFF DIDN'T EVEN BELONG IN A KITCHEN, and it would help with space issues, I decided: but I must.

And so I did. I was surprised to find that there was a 28 compartment, 1 week - 4 times a day pill dispenser in the kitchen cabinet. I was appalled, appalled I tell you, to find there were still pills in it. WHY didn't my mom dispose of them as soon as whoever they belonged to died? I mention that because it was buried, as was four, COUNT THEM, FOUR, lemon juice bottles (alright, at least two, a lime juice bottle, and a bottle that is plastic but has the look of a wicker jug that I'm not sure of) shaped like lemons and such. Actually, they weren't buried so much as stuffed behind a Lazy Susan with half of a collection on and surrounding it.

I think I found the lemons first because I called up my friend to complain to her about it.

This was sometime last week. Late last week, if I recall. I just got around to washing them today. Not through the dishwasher but, dish soap and water and then put them in the dish rack to dry.

Once they were dry, along with a tall bottle that was in the kitchen cabinet but originally contained bubble bath and another bottle if sorts that I had originally thought of pairing with another bottle in a cabinet SOMEWHERE before I took another look and saw that that other green bottle was actually a vase, I put them in a moving box that I had put in the next room earlier this day.

I was over at the dining room part of the kitchen (as opposed to the kitchen part of the kitchen) and, setting things up there and picking through a motley inventory of items in a plastic woven green strawberry container when I found another bottle. A teeny bottle. It had some dirt in it and so I decided to see if I could wash it out....I couldn't. The opening at the top is very small and doesn't add water well nor does it drain well. I couldn't really get anything down in the teeny bottle to scrub it out, and, while trying to remove dirt or mould or something from the inside, it occurred to me....

I checked to see if I had the right number of bottles as I gathered the lemon/lime juice containers (that I now noticed were from different parts of Italy...or, at least had different cities' names on them) up out of the box. I brought them into the library here and set them down, grabbed a book and got to checking my theory online.

I had the right amount of bottles. Technically, they, I do not believe, are different sizes, but, they are different shapes, which I can pretend mean different sizes. I had to find that riddle and then appropriately decide bottle placement, and I did.

The next thing to do (I was percolating at this point) was find the best place. I went to the linen closet at the end of the hall on the other side of the house and grabbed the shrink wrapped shelf that just happened to be in there, waiting for it's moment. I had wondered, many times in the past 6 weeks, every time I opened the linen closet door to have that shelf look me in the face, WHAT in the WORLD am I going to do with this (besides just letting it look unused in it's shrink wrap in the linen closet)?

I found it. High, above head level so that nobody will knock into it, in the Slytherin Hall, closest to the dining room part of the kitchen and the Great Hall (because one had to go past the Great hall to go to the basement and the dungeons....but, you already knew that). It will be a perfect fit. No door will swing open to hit it, and it's in it's own nook, almost, not taking up an entire wall or anything.

Ladies and Gentlemen and Follower of This Blog, might I present:

THE SEVERUS SNAPE MEMORIAL!!!!! :D :D :D

Underneath the shelf with the bottles will be the riddle as found in Sorcerer's Stone, done in the LilyUPN font, on a piece of paper, burnt/aged.

I shall post a picture of it when it's finalized.

.....And my mom didn't want me to go through the cabinets....

Summing up prayer from "The Simpsons"

I know, I still have the Family Reunion to write about and I will, but, I couldn't think of a better place to put this where it wouldn't get lost or deleted. From the episode, "Four Great Women and a Manicure". As said by Reverend Lovejoy as the religious head of the English speaking about the Spanish Armada:

"Lord Jesus,

Although our country turned Protestant for the SOLE reason that our fat, mean king could dump his faithful wife, we know you're on our side. So please, destroy these horrible monsters who believe your Mother should be revered."

--"Amen"

.....Incidentally, I still hate Krebs Public Elementary. August 13 is getting closer and closer.... What a horrible reminder.

Something that will ammount to Neutral News Anybody!!!

They're back. Right now.

They being, "Somebody". I had the house to myself for about 30 minutes.

One would think, what with 5 houseguests, all of the male Y-Chromosome type, thus, having their OWN bathroom while here, this would be a good thing.

It would be, if I was the one who decided it.

My mom came in my room at....morning....sometime, and asked where my keys were. I told her. She took my keys.

I wanted to sleep until 11 but, got up to go to the bathroom around 0950, tried to go back to sleep, got up again around....10...something. I was invited to go to the thrift store with my cousins. I have only been to 2 or 3 thrift stores in my life, none of them this one, so, I would like to have acompanied them.

I remember, my mom has my keys. I make my cousins aware of this and the one suggest I call my mom. I do. I ask my mom when she'll be back. She says about an hour. I tell her I'm going with my cousins. She says she'll be here in 10 minutes.

I later check my phone and see that she called and left me a message so I call her back. The cousin (son) was cleaning out the car for the past ten minutes. My mom says to give her 15 more minutes. I am not to leave the house unlocked (which I would have done in case we got back here), as a matter of fact, she told me to stay.

I was GROUNDED!!! I was grounded....in the house where I primarily reside (alone) in the summer, and I'm over the age of emancipation.

I told my cousins to go without me (and they managed to talk my mom into taking our 9 year old cousin, who we all just met with them so they could by him a toy).

My mom is the one who was that Somebody. She said, "I'm glad you stayed, but, you could have gone and locked the side door."

I am so glad I didn't curse her out (which took all my restraint, by the way. ALL my restraint) because she bought a new stove and a new refrigerator for the house (the door was left open a little bit all night, I was told). The plumbing is also getting fixed and this is costing a lot of money.

Ah, the reason the houseguests are down here is because there's a family reuinon later today. If I survive, I will blog.

It will be long.

Mom & Michael

Hey Everybody!

Mom has been here less than 5 hours and already I have TWO, count them, TWO, stories!! I believe these happened within the first hour of her being here.

First, as mentioned, she is not a fan of spiders. She checked her bathtub (where I thought there would be dead bodies) and she sees a live spider. She doesn't jump around or go up five octaves or anything, but, she allerts me to it and stares at it like it's Boo Didley from Super Mario Bros. 3, you know, so, like the antagonist in the Fortress of Desert Land, if one stares at it, it wont chase after you. I tell her don't touch it it's mine, don't touch it. When I leave, she is still staring at it.

I excuse myself to the kitchen to grab the needed instruments: a shot glass and a Glad Ware Soup & Salad lid.

I go back to my mom's bathroom and attempt to bring the little guy to safety via the clever means I have avaliable to me.

I start to get a little scared because he keeps evading me and the lid that's trying to chase him. I don't want him to get aggitated and bite me because I didn't know what kind of spider I was dealing with and the light wasn't on. I try a different tactic and put the shot glass down and at one point I think I smoosh him, but, fortunately, I didn't. It is so important to get the spider out of the bathtub because a spider who lands in a bathtub is certain to die. I don't know how they get in there, but, for some reason, though they can crawl on ceilings and fit into tight places, cannot crawl up the sides of a bathtub. It is very sad and very tragic.

I manage to get the spider out and most of its web on me. I was very upset (as I am sure so was he) because I destroyed his cubbord/refrigerator.

I notice that it has, I think, if I recall correctly, yellow and blue stripes on it. I saw in the bathtub that it had a slender body. I want to show my mom. My mom retreats into my room and tells me she doesn't want to see it, just get it outside.

She follows me down the hall, I'm still holding the Glad Ware lid atop which sits the perfectly docile spider encased in a shot glass that fits the center hole perfectly. My mom and I are talking and a few times she becomes increasingly panicky/short tempered and pleads that I put the spider outside already.

I demonstrated for her that the spider has two barriers: 1) Plastic and 2) Glass. The spider isn't penetrating either.

I show the spider outside and tip him out of the shot glass. I am pretty sure I appologized. I know I asked him to sneak back in when he could.

My mom gets upset at me because I turn the outside and inside light on. I have this silly little quirk about liking to sewhere I'm going.... I don't want to step into any of the prehistoric bugs they gots down here, which is why my mom wants me to turn off the lights, so we do not attract bugs in the house.

....Seems to me that if any of those nasty bugs get in the house, a spider would be good company....

Anyway, story two:

While cleaning out a server, a server where every drawer and cabinet is the motley drawer and motley cabinet, I come across a Rx bottle for my Papa Carmine from 1979.

1979.

Nineteen-Seventy-Nine.

My grandparents moved here in '76. It was a bottle from a Doctor in Blue Island, IL. I guess they were on vacation or something when my Papa needed the Rx.

Anyway, I told people about this: that it's such an old bottle, that nobody has gone through this place, that I'm going to save it to show mom so that she can see that this crap needs to be cleared out.

Everybody's overwhelming response: Thow it out. Throw it out, throw it out, throw it out. Why are you saving it? Throw it out.

Last night I show my mom this bottle. A-Ha!, I think, this will show her that we NEED to go through stuff here and get rid of this junk and update things et. al.

Her response...."I can use this bottle," and she pockets it.

RAWERERERJAELKRJEWLKJROARIJK;LEAJFMKAOEWKLJ.DKE;/FJOI4[Uedowj!!!!!!J Why didn't I just listen to everybody else?!!!!!!!!! WHY!!!!?

My mom claims she can put pins or dimes in it.

Mark this day, Follower & Lurkers! I predict, that in the future, I will see that empty bottle shoved in the back of the clothes drawers here as I clear them.

In other news, yesterday was Michael Jackson's funeral. I missed it seeing as how I didn't get to bed until 0900 when the adrenaline ran out and, even if I was up, I probably would have been watching Mugglenet.com's live coverage of the London premier of HP6.....if I wasn't frantically cleaning.

Anyway, I missed it, but, not to fear: Every. Single. Channel. was covering it and rebroadcasting it (at least them cable news ones were). I saw people dancing in tribute.

Michael and dancers were supposed to be dancing for the new tour about this time, but, there were instead, people dancing in honour of his life.

It's not what we were expecting but, we are seeing Michael Jackson's dancers in early July.

Life is perfect, Life is the best.

Not as lonely as 3 A.M.

It is around 5:30 in the morning, Harry Potter 6 opens next Wednesday, and I'm not in the least bit tired.Also, my mom is coming to visit me/attend to needed repairs.

She gave me an ultimatim a few days ago. I don't kill spiders. Spiders are our friends! I haven't had a problem yet, and though I see them crawling on my bedroom ceiling and walls and elsewhere in the house, I typically let them be. The only time I intervened was when they were in the kitchen. I transported them to the dining room.

Anyway, my mom knows my affection for spiders so she told me if she sees a spider, it's going outside (which, is, I know, a compromise). I am uncomfortable with it going outside because I don't know if the spider will be acclimated to the outdoors; at the very least, birds and snakes are outside.I began to argue with her and she told me, "Then I'm not going to come down there! I'm not living with spiders!" Yeah mom, great. Give me a scenario where I choose a side of this line in the sand you drew. Hard to say which side I'll come down on, the spiders I live with or....

My mom also told me I can't leave the house at midnight when she's here (I go shopping between 2300 & 0300). What's she going to do if I do, send me to my room?

I'm sure I'll C&P this all on my blog, so, if you read my blog, don't read the above.

Nope! Not tired in the least!