Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I Hate Rogers & Hammerstein

There is so much that has happened work wise in the past three weeks, BUT, let me put this one in there as a sorbet. I hope you find this all as ironic and humourous as it has occurred to me. I originally mourned my coming to live in this state, and my existence therein, but have learned to not only appreciate but I dare say, enjoy, the sufficiency this area has to offer. (The one downfall is that, because it is a small area, though there is free market competition, businesses close. One must schedule ones activities/errands of the day around a business' open hours, which varies for all businesses, some of which close for lunch. Needless to say, the 24-hour Wal Mart makes a killing.)

However, despite me being at peace with my situation, some have decided to highlight select disturbances for me, intentionally, because it occurred to them, or morbid curiosity.

Let us start, shall we, with one Tennessean, (WHO FOR THE RECORD, I AM STILL IGNORING) who pronounces a small river of water, i.e., a "creek," as, "crick", and uses phrases like, "Yee Doggies," who has the audacity to send me a music file of "Dueling Banjos".

Maybe I am misinterpriting this. Maybe it wasn't a slight at me in any way. Maybe it's just because that movie from whence that theme is was based on him.

It doesn't matter because I'M IGNORING YOU, DOUG!

Right. Second. Friend of the family called me the other day. Wonderful woman. Great woman. Called me the other day to see how I was and how life is here. The reason she did this. 'Have you ever seen the movie, "My Cousin Vinnie?" About those two kids who are accused of robbery in a small town and the lawyer and the girlfriend come down? That reminded me of your situation!"

Well, yes, that DOES work, but, you know what else is appropriate? Mix that with, "The Money Pit," "Arachnaphobia"*, and, given my work conditions, me being one of two fat white people in a black-owned beauty parlor (I play the girl....but, the other one is a massage therapist, so, perhaps I'm wrong), half of the sitcoms that failed on UPN/The WB. Yeah. A casserole of those visuals.

The final thing happened just last week. Last week Monday. I decided to do something to help the economy in these parts that was LONG over due! I scoped out the liquor stores. I found three online, but, only found two physically: Alamo Liquors and Discount Liquors. I rather liked Alamo Liquors but didn't buy anything, but, it seems nice and affordable.

I then went to Discount Liquors and asked the woman behind the counter a question that I meant to ask the other place but forgot. It is dreadfully true, I found out. Oklahoma is dry on Sundays. :( I think she said there was an exception if one goes out to a restaurant. I think that was the exception. I told her that I have an uncle in Indiana who joined a bowling league because the Bowling Alley was the one place that served alcohol on a Sunday. I told her I used to live in IL and that after Noon, it was fine, but, I've now moved here.

In a drawl WAY over southerning, that I find hard legitimately reproducing without sounding phony, but, I will try to phonetic it out for you all, "Awwhhhhhhh, Huhneeehhyy, Wha ohhhn Errrrth waaaoooouuuullld youuu doooo thaaaaaaaaat?"

She then went on to ask me what I'm doing and is it full time and do I like it and all that and I said, "Why do you ask? I don't suppose you all are hiring?"

And, as it turns out, they are! Or, not so much them, but, the tobacco place that they also own. Actually, not her. She's a new hire herself. She works at the Christian School in McAlester, but, she told them she has this part time job because they just don't pay her enough.

And, since it's a week later, I did apply for the tobacco shop, but, they didn't have anything to accomodate my schedule.

AND, I was thinking, "Do I really want to work in a Tobacco Shop?" And, the answer is, Yes. Yes, I wouldn't mind it. Let me put that into perspective for the reader. I am more comfortable selling cancer sticks and lymphnoma chew than I am selling Paul Mitchell products* and Ion Detox sessions.

*I'm not actually sure if this works as I have never SEEN "Arachnaphobia," but, just yesterday in my kitchen I played, "Is it stucco or a spider egg?"

*Though, I did buy "The Strengthening Conditioner" or whatever pompous name it has. I want to see if it stregthens and repairs my hair. If not, VO5 and Suave, under a dollar at WalMart, always, all the time.

No comments:

Post a Comment